Is it responsible for a parent to let a 12-year-old child ride the NYC subway alone?

by Olivia Bredbenner

Created on: July 08, 2009   Last Updated: February 27, 2011

Maybe many years ago I would have said "yes."  However, now, I think that our culture has changed and our twelve year old children may be at an even greater risk of becoming a victim of street crime . That being said, I do not think it is irresponsible for a parent to allow a twelve year old to ride the subway alone. As  each family lives with the realities of their own situation. Parents are doing the best that they can,some have less choices available to them. So a blanket conclusion about any parenting should be avoided.

It is with some reservation that I add, some parents are living in areas where mass transit and especially the subway is their only mode of transportation. Not everyone has been born with the same advantages nor have the same options as those that live in the rural and town areas our our country. Thus, their choices are not equal.

It is unfair to pass judgment on the struggling parents of today and the decisions they must make and live with. They need to be evaluated on a different scale , regarding whether they are being responsible parents or not.

However,as in many areas decisions are made about the individual . Not by the consensus of all of us. With the history of extremes in behavior in our more open society. We often collectively pass judgment without considering the " individual " child and circumstances surrounding them.

According to Emily Bazelon in her article- My Mother, My Bodyguard. There are mothers that have allowed their children to ride the subway, as young as nine years old. With the outcome being a positive experience for the mother and the child. As her child successfully arrived at his destination and was " ecstatic with independence. " In this case he may even have been just lucky.

Traveling in our subway system today is not about reinforcing our children's positive feelings about themselves or making them more independent, which is a positive goal for all parents to reinforce . It is about the times we live in now and about others, who may see the twelve year old child as their next " victim." It is not about the child traveling alone it is about the predators that may be traveling with them. Criminals are patient in their pursuit of the young and vulnerable. Often following them and eventually winning over the trust of an innocent child .

According to Neil Gilbert, " the demands of employers have propelled women away from taking care of their small children during the day." This continues from this point on. Out of necessity careers have taken the forefront and there is the need for a working parent to help make their children as independent as possible and as soon as they can. This takes on a high priority. " But the personal guilt and societal guilt sits heavily on the scale"

For those parents who are afforded the options, many mothers may pass on sending their twelve year old on the subway alone. Others, out of necessity, may have to and have spent time preparing their child regarding safety precautions, better yet , even given a cell phone. A mother's smile and her goodbye hug hopefully then leaves him armed against the unthinkable.

http://www.slate.com/id/2189375/

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