by HL Borden

Created on: July 08, 2009   Last Updated: December 01, 2009

It's 11:30 pm and I just got off of work. I make a quick stop at the neighborhood grocery store to pick up a few things. I finally arrive home a little after midnight; open the front door and walk into my kitchen. Harold the cat comes to greet me from the bedroom through the slightly ajar door. "That's weird," I think to myself. "That door is always shut." I figure that it just must not have latched the last time I used it, and that Harold and his ginormous head was able to push through. I stop pondering the open bedroom door and proceed to put away my groceries.

After all the perishables are safely stowed in the fridge, I walk to the bedroom to hang my coat in the closet. I stop halfway through the doorway. "That's odd. Clothes are thrown all over my bed." Eyes dart to the left. "That's odd. The always-open doorway to the living room is now closed." Eyes scan to the right. "That's odd. My clothes hamper is missing." It finally hits me. I've been burgled!

I race to the living room where all my electronics live. TV, check. Laptop, check. Wii, check. The living room appears untouched. Am I imagining things? I head back to the bedroom. Nope, it's very real that the bedroom window is wide open and the dirty clothes from my now-missing hamper are strewn across my bed. I'm standing in the middle of my room laughing like a maniac. I'm dumbfounded. The only thing I could possibly come up with is that perhaps the burgler heard me walk up the steps and escaped through the window before they could steal anything.

I take a closer look around. All the clothes are pushed to one side of my closet. Items that had been folded neatly and piled on the floor are now in a heap on my bed. I go to the dresser. The once tidy stacks of clothes are now a jumbled mess in the drawers. Were they looking for drugs? Money? Hidden valuables? I glance to the wall where my necklaces hang; all of them are there. I open my jewelry boxes; untouched.

It finally strikes me that perhaps the person is still in the apartment. Big Brave Heather enters the bathroom and quickly rips open the shower curtain. A-ha! Nope, no one there. Since I was in bathroom anyway, I figured I'd have a look around to see if anything had been disturbed. I open the drawer next to the sink. My toiletries are missing. What the heck?

Closer inspection of my closet discloses empty hangers. I'm not a clothes horse; I own very few items so I know what I have. I am able to tell exactly what is missing. A couple of my blouses and a few of my skirts are no where to be found. The common thread? They were all black. Perhaps the burglar was a Goth?

I head back to my dresser for a closer look. All of my bras and panties are missing except for one pair. At least the burglar was considerate enough to leave me a clean pair to wear when I go shopping to re-stock. Thank God for small favors, right?

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