Resolving conflict needn't be complicated. There are two ways to get people to voluntarily do something. They can be persuaded to do it, or negotiated with. Although these terms are often used interchangeably, persuasion and negotiation are very different processes.

Persuasion is the process of getting someone to do something by convincing them that it's the reasonable thing to do. People persuade constantly. Persuasive activities include convincing, requesting, arguing, flirting, coaxing, advertising, debating, buying, selling, nagging, flattering and criticizing.

Persuasion often seems simple to most people; offer reasons why someone should do something, and they'll do it, right? But this doesn't always work. The other side may have an objection to what is offered.

When Persuasion Doesn't Work

When persuasion works, it usually works pretty quickly. After one good, solid presentation, the other side will almost certainly understand the argument. If they haven't been convinced, they'll probably never be convinced.

When persuasion doesn't work most people try again. They present their argument in a different fashion, hoping that their message will get through to the other side. But the other side has heard, considered, and firmly rejected the argument. Each repetition will only crank up the volume on an already unmistakable message: they disagree and repeated arguments will only aggravate them. An old Chinese proverb says that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. This is when it's time to negotiate.

Persuasion vs. Negotiation

The difference between persuasion and negotiation is concessions. Negotiating is the process of getting someone to do something, even if they disagree with it. This is done by giving them enough concessions to make it worth their while. When it's impossible to win the other side's agreement with a compelling argument, they can usually be bought with concessions.

It's simple. Persuaders give reasons. Negotiators give concessions. The other side may or may not like the reasons provided, but they may like what's offered to them in the way of concessions.

We should always persuade first. Persuasion is faster, easier, more comfortable and above all, cheaper than negotiation. But when agreements can't be won through persuasion, it will be necessary to negotiate with concessions.

Skillful negotiating is knowing how to make the concessions that are required-no more and no less than what is required to reach an agreement. EW56Bhttp://www.commongroundse minars.comWH6PDZ6EFP

Learn more about this author, Jacqueline Trovato.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

---

Add your voice

Know something about The basics of conflict management?
We want to hear your view. Write now!