by Rebecca Rehm

Created on: July 07, 2009   Last Updated: July 13, 2009

Ann sat perched on the wall in front of her house she watched as the night sky shifted to morning, the neighborhood still slumbered. It was one of those mornings where she felt small, as if the world could swallow everything around her, this was her favorite time of day when life seems to stand still in absolute silence and Ann was able to be alone with her thoughts and she didn't have to wear her mask.

Her mask was the one thing that stood between her and the pain that would engulf her if anyone ever got to know the real Ann. Her mask had protected her since she was very young, at first she wore it only when there was physical or emotional pain in her life but it slowly consumed her to the point of defining who she was. Ann created this mask when she was a child and perfected it through the years it allowed her be whoever she needed to be at any given moment she could become helpless and fill her eyes with tears or become invisible whatever was necessary to survive, her mask made anything possible. She could hide in the mask and when she emerged all would be calm. It was her only escape from a chaotic life.

When life was dishing out it's torments she would retreat to this safe haven that she had created, somehow it allowed her to know what to say or do, when it was time to run and hide or just sit still and hope that the next blow wouldn't kill or cripple her.

She remembered the first time she used it; she was very young probably about five years old awakened by the noise created by her father attempting to kill her mother. That next morning she put her mask on so she could act like nothing was wrong with the fact that her mother had bruises all over her and that patches of her hair was missing, wearing her mask allowed Ann to give her dad a hug that morning. It saw her through a childhood filled with abuse at the hands of those she loved the most. And then her first marriage to an alcoholic, a bond created through her need to get away from what would eventually destroy her but; instead of escaping she entered a world worse than the one she was running from.

Ann's thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a car roaring to life, her coffee was gone and it was time for Ty to get home from work so she should probably go make sure that everything was just right in the house, she needed to ensure there wasn't anything to cause confrontation. She hated confrontation, oh Ty had never hurt her and her love for him was endless so why risk it?

God had brought them together twenty five years ago after Ann's bitter divorce and chances are nothing would ever change their relationship but; anything is possible and she wasn't willing to take the chance, so she needed to get her mask on, it had carried her through her childhood and gotten her through her first marriage it would surely carry her through the rest of her life.

Her mask had become such a part of her that she wasn't sure she could survive without it. It has been her refuge from pain for so long that Ann was afraid she wouldn't be complete without her trusted friend.

Maybe one day she would be ready but for now she will continue to use her mask.

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