by Jane Mays-Evans

Created on: July 07, 2009   Last Updated: July 08, 2009

The toughest part about helping someone who is suicidal is finding out whether or not they are truly suicidal. We can go a long time without knowing how seriously sad some people are. Even if they are close to you, you may not be able to see it. There are times when you may not want to see it.

I met her when I was 16 years old. She was the funniest, most outgoing, entertaining person I had ever met. She had a joy that could light up the whole room. Her smile was what she was made for. She had a beautiful face and quite the figure. She was one of a kind. We spent the next four years hanging out on weekends, clubbing, traveling, eating out, etc. She quickly became my best friend.

It wasn't until after I turned twenty that I started to really notice some things about her. She seemed to get very angry and quite often. She seemed to have tantrums when things weren't going her way. And most importantly, I began noticing her deep downs. When she would get upset over a guy or a bad day of work or something, she could spend hours and sometimes days at home in the dark being depressed. I never had those situations in my life, so I don't think I ever really grasped how serious they were. I knew there was something wrong. The same girl who could easily have been the funniest girl I had ever met was also depressed often, easily angered, and very sad at times. Her family told me she had tried to kill herself before by taking a bunch of pills, but she called for help shortly after and only spent a few days in the hospital. She had a history of drinking and occasionally using drugs. She told me the doctor had prescribed her pills for depression a few times during the past few years. It was like she had these ups where her life was great and she was so much fun to be around. And then she would have these downs where she was mean and depressed and cried a lot in the dark.

In my twenties, I became pregnant and we became distant. We still kept in touch via email and occasional phone calls. We got together for kids birthdays, special occasions and for a drink every now and then. A few years ago, she told me she had met someone new. She said he was a nice guy with a good job and they got a long really well. She became pregnant by him and they got married. I heard rumors that he was abusing her and cheating on her, but I never heard it from her. We began seeing each other less and less and I barely heard from her over the years. Last year, I received a phone call at work in

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