The Circus - 1868
"Elizabeth," Sarah called, motioning her over to the group of simpering girls. "We're going to have our fortunes told! Do come, I'm sure it will be fun!"
"I suppose I shall," Elizabeth consented knowing she'd have to do something sooner or later to convince Sarah she was having a good time.
"Wonderful!" Sarah smiled and dragged Elizabeth by the hand over to the darkly colored booth.
Elizabeth sighed heavily as she allowed herself to be tugged along. The blue sky with white and fluffy clouds and brightly shining sun ensured a perfect day for the Circus, Elizabeth grudgingly admitted to herself. She just didn't feel in the festive mood. Her friend Sarah had dragged her to the Circus grounds, saying she needed to get out more, but Elizabeth didn't think so. She would much rather be home tending to her garden, or better yet riding her stallion, than trying to catch the eye of some young man.
It seemed to her that all her friends ever did now was giggle about some stupid man. This one was so strong, and that one was so handsome. They didn't impress Elizabeth one bit. She didn't need a man because everything they could do she could do just as well, if not better, thanks to her uncle's teaching. Of course most people didn't know that about her, which for her Aunts sake was the way she liked it. Most people considered her a lady of the first degree. Most people were wrong.
Sarah was one of her best friends, and one of the few people who knew about her unladylike behavior. When the two girls had been much younger, Elizabeth had even persuaded her to try a few antics herself, such as climbing into the hay mow and jumping onto the piles of hay on the barn floor below, or discarding their skirts and abundance of petticoats in hot weather and swimming in only their shifts in the river. Lately though Sarah had been trying to get Elizabeth to act more ladylike even when they were alone, and Elizabeth resented it.
She watched the other girls she had known since childhood enter the fortune tellers tent one by one, and come out giggling to the other girls about husbands and the amount of children they would someday have. She listened and smiled along with the rest, but she didn't take part in the discussions. Among the girls Elizabeth was the only one who still professed not to care for men. At least outwardly.
Since she had turned eighteen, she had begun having the strangest dreams, waking up with her bed sheets tangled around her body, her skin flushed, and breathing rapidly. There was always a dark-haired man in her dreams, but she could never see his face. Even now, thinking of the dreams, she could feel her skin begin to tingle.
Discreetly of course, she had begun to study men, never allowing anyone to catch her at it. She was fascinated with their strong, hard bodies, so unlike a woman. She thought about the time almost a year ago that she and Sarah had been out walking near the lake when they had heard an unusual amount of splashing coming from that direction and had investigated.
Carousing around in the water were the naked bodies of the field hands who had spent the hot summer day in the hayfield. They were obviously cooling off after a hard day of work, and did not suspect that two young ladies might chance upon their fun. Sarah and Elizabeth had watched hidden in the bushes, captivated as they observed one after another muscular nude male body frolicking in the cool river water. They had sworn never to reveal what they had seen to a living soul, but the sight had fascinated both girls. Neither girl had ever been able to look at any of those men again without blushing. Thinking back, Elizabeth realized that it was soon after that event the dreams had started.
Sarah came over to where she was standing and grinned at Elizabeth's obvious impatience. She didn't even bother to hide in her expression that she wished to be anywhere else but at the Circus.
"It's your turn" she said with a nudge. "Find out if you're ever going to marry and see if you can get her to say whom. She's as good as told me I would marry Charlie Johnson."
Elizabeth gave her a skeptical look.
"Poor Charlie" she said dryly, and Sarah laughed.
"Go on Elizabeth, I at least want to know what she says!"
At Sarah's urging, Elizabeth entered the small dark booth quietly and sat down in front of a wrinkled old lady dressed in black. After putting her money on the table, she suddenly found her gaze captured by the old lady's glittering black and oddly familiar eyes.
"You are very unhappy, aren't you child?" she stated, ignoring the money, her voice crackling with a strange accent that sent shivers up Elizabeth's spine.
"No" She replied uneasily. She was very happy with her life, and the freedom she had thanks to her doting aunt and uncle. Elizabeth was sure she never wanted to get married and possibly leave them.
"You're lying" The harsh words startled Elizabeth, but were continued before she could defend herself. "You don't yet realize this"
The old woman peered deep into Elizabeth's eyes, and Elizabeth found she couldn't look away. "You are upset because he hasn't come to you yet. You feel betrayed and alone. You are searching for him, even now." She sat back with a sigh.
Elizabeth frowned. "I don't know what you mean, I haven't lost anyone, certainly not a man." She shook her head with the beginnings of annoyance.
"My dear, you fail to understand. I am talking about your soul mate, the one you are intended to love and become one with in every lifetime. You are meant to find each other, it's part of who you are." The old lady parted her lips in a toothless grimace, which pretended to be a smile, but her eyes showed kindness and tenderness. It was the only reason Elizabeth didn't immediately run away from this obviously crazy old woman.
"You haven't met him yet in this life," she explained gently, "and he's past due. He's never been this late before, he should have come by now. You know this" the lady paused to tap her chest," in here, you know."
Elizabeth started to protest once again, and was about to get up and leave, but stopped when her hand was grabbed in a surprisingly iron grip. She sat where she was, looking down at her lap, her stomach churning nervously. What could the old woman mean? Did she mean the dreams? She glanced up to see the fortuneteller had her eyes closed and a look of intense concentration on her face. Elizabeth's eyes slipped closed too and suddenly she knew she was no longer in her own body.
She could see the fortuneteller, at least she thought it must be her, but this woman was much younger, and beautiful with long black hair and a bright smile. She motioned Elizabeth forward, and Elizabeth felt herself move toward her.
'Look' the fortuneteller said, and pointed toward a group of men dressed in Union Blues. 'Do you see him?'
Suddenly Elizabeth did. He was holding a long rife, and staring out into the field, his jaw clenched. She knew him! Her heart jumped, and she started toward him, only to feel a tug on her arm as the fortuneteller pulled her back.
'Watch' she directed. 'We will see why he has yet to come to you'
Elizabeth nodded, realizing that this was a vision or a dream and not reality. He didn't see her, so she watched. Watched as he was blown up by cannon, along with the men surrounding him.
She turned to the fortuneteller, her grief too intense to be vocalized, shaking her head, and covering her mouth - she felt hot tears escape her eyes and course down her cheeks. She suddenly felt as if part of her soul had been ripped from her body and almost fell from the intensity of her emotions. A gentle touch on her shoulder stopped her, and she turned to see the young fortuneteller, her eyes showing her sorrow, standing beside her.
'We must correct this' She said simply, and suddenly Elizabeth had hope. 'Look' the woman pointed in the opposite direction, and again Elizabeth saw her soul mate, but he looked different. He no longer wore a uniform, and was surrounded by strange furniture. Some of it blinked. She stepped forward to get a closer look, and noticed that he looked haggard, as if he hadn't slept well recently. He looked up and she caught her breath again. He was the one she was waiting for. Her soul knew him, as her mind did not. In that instance she knew that the fortuneteller had been quite correct in saying that she was angry with him for not coming to her, and that she had been waiting for him. She just hadn't known until this moment.
'When will he come to me?' she asked, not taking her eyes from him as she asked the question.
'It's complicated' the fortuneteller sighed. 'He is not of this time, but in the future. I cannot take him away from your future self, can I?' she asked.
'Where am I in this time? Why has he not found me yet?' Elizabeth demanded, wanting to know that if she could not have him now, at least her future self would be happy.
The fortuneteller turned and pointed to another place and when Elizabeth looked she saw a graveyard.
'Oh my' the fortuneteller breathed. 'He can't find you because in his time you have died.'
'What!' Elizabeth exclaimed, and tried to look back at him, only to find he had disappeared. 'Can't you fix that?' she begged, turning back toward the fortuneteller.
The woman smiled, then nodded. "For you my child, anything"
Suddenly Elizabeth found herself back in her own body, and she gasped at the strange sensation. Her hand was free from the old fortunetellers iron grip, and she raised her eyes to meet the wrinkled old face that now seemed so strange after seeing her young and beautiful.
"I didn't know" Elizabeth whispered, still slightly stunned from her experience.
"There is a lot that you don't know about yourself." The wise old eyes crinkled. "You could not have taken the journey with me if you did not have the gypsy blood."
Elizabeth stared at her in amazement. Gypsy blood?
"I can help you child, do not doubt it. You will see him again, and in this time. All you have to do is agree to accept my help." Her gaze again captured Elizabeth's. "Will you accept a poor old woman's intervention in your life?" she asked.
"Yes" Elizabeth breathed.
"Strange things will happen in the next full moon. You will forget the man you saw today. Look for the man who seems out of place in this world. He is your soul mate, and your heart will know this to be true when your lips meet in a kiss. Follow your heart and what you most desire you will have." Reaching over, she squeezed Elizabeth's hand, and then closed her eyes briefly.
"Go now" she commanded. "Do not forget what I have told you."
Elizabeth nodded and fled. Later, when she tried to remember what her soul mate had looked like she found she could not. Not even the color of his hair or eyes, which she had seen so clearly in the strange dream. All she knew was that he was out there, somewhere, and they would soon be together as they had always meant to be.