by Rob Gleghorn

Created on: July 07, 2009

Of course it does. Camping (no matter what kind you do) costs more than staying at home and doing nothing. I could stay home, cook up some lobster tails, garlic bread and a few tri-tips and spend considerably less than it costs to go experience nature. The problem is that I'm still at home I can do that anytime I want. These takes zero effort on my part, and trust me, most days I prefer zero effort. Going camping however is a serious logistical and economic undertaking.

I'm biased of course. My wife said there was no way she was ever going camping without a toilet and a shower. At first I thought I would just bring one of those little turtle swimming pools and fill it with soap water. For the toilet I pointed out the 88,000 acres of pristine forest my wife could use at her will. Neither of these options turned her crank, so I bought a 21-foot trailer instead. I now get to kill things and eat them over the fire (okay, brats and burgers really), and she gets to be clean for one day in a row.

Logistically, camping is a nightmare. I used to bring the trailer to the house two days before I wanted to leave so my wife could pack the food and clothes. I usually found myself still packing four hours after my scheduled departure time, so I started bringing the trailer home a week early. This has accomplished nothing, because my wife still doesn't start loading until the last four minutes. Even then, she doesn't bring exactly what I would bring.

I bring the stuff one really needs...guns, knives, lanterns, bread and fuel. She brings books, manicure items, outfits for 12 days and a month's supply of gourmet food items. (I'm not joking. Our last trip she made Thai soup.) Don't get me wrong, I get to eat well on our trips; I just hate packing all this stuff and often try to convince her that graham crackers will suffice for everyone. So, on the way, we usually hit the grocery store and spend about $200 more on food I don't eat at home. Smores are a must, so this is usually where I pitch in most sincerely.

Aside from all the food costs, there are the actual camping expenses to consider. It takes propane to heat everything and run the stove. (This is especially true if your wife likes the inside to be 112 degrees.) It costs twice the fuel to get there because I'm towing my toilet and shower on wheels. It costs money for the camping spot, because I live in California where every creature known to man is on the endangered species list, and we must be in a designated camping area. This costs even more if you want full hook-ups (which my wife always does or the shower runs out). One time, I was even charged a holiday fee. Apparently there's more scenery and wildlife fun during holiday weekends. Firewood costs about $14 dollars for one night's worth of flames. Fortunately, I live where new houses are being built, and I get to pick up all the scrap lumber for free. The downside is that my steaks taste a little like Pergo flooring.

Without a doubt, camping costs more than staying at home, and we manage to get out about once a month. I get to create a lifetime of memories with my wife and children however, and this isn't easy to put a price tag on. Who knows, if I play my cards right, my children may one day grow up and be able to over-pack, overspend and over-torment families of their own.

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