Are parents justified in pressuring their teenage children to get a college education?

by Loni Stel

Created on: July 07, 2009   Last Updated: July 11, 2009

As a mom of ten children, with our four oldest having graduated from high school, I absolutely do not believe in pressuring children to get a college education. To just go to college to "see what they want to be when they grow up" may never accumulate to what they want to be, but instead, accumulate much college education debt.

My oldest son is 22 years old and does not have a college education. He works full-time in an automotive repair shop as a master mechanic, having earned numerous ASE (Automotive Service Excellence) certifications. These are national tests which he has to take to be certified to do certain repairs in his shop. Much of it was hands on learning as he was working his way up, and passing tests. He has taken classes at a community college, but feels he could be where he is at without any of the college education. He continues to do some of the college courses, for the future, in case he would like to teach automotive courses at some point in his life. However, he does not feel pressured to do so.

My next oldest son is 19 years old. He is taking some classes also at the community collge. He loves music and he is thinking of a degree in Criminal Justice. But we are allowing him to decide which way he feels his life should go. If we pressure him, he will not do well in courses he does not like or has no desire to be a part of. Sometimes it is a matter of maturity for children to see that they do, or don't, need a college education.

My next two graduated children are 18 year old twin daughters. One is interested in art (drawing); the other in photography. But they both want to take it slow, possibly beginning with on-line courses. They too do not want to waste time or money taking classes that will not further their interests. As a mom, I am not going to push them to take the "core classes" just to keep them in college, when they may find that is not what they want to do. As young adults they need to learn to make decisions that will affect their futures.

Personally, I went to college and received a legal secretarial degree. I used it for about two years and then began having a family. I've been at home now raising and homeschooling children for over twenty years and found a new interest with writing. I am thankful I did not go four years to a college to receive a degree - just to receive a degree to please my parents. My husband alsowent to college and received a engineering drafting degree, but never used it. He went from working as a gravestone designer, to phone book ad designer, to tool and die, and now for the past five years, developing his own business in small engine repair. He's always loved "tinkering" with things, and had he started with his "love" of doing this . . . he would be much further with his business.

Each child is different. It may take many years for a child to see where he/she wants his/her life to go, but if pressured, may go the wrong direction and have a degree or job that is detested. Though laziness should not be encouraged (or allowed?) finding the strong points of a child and developing them may or may not mean a college education. However, pushing a child to go to college, just to go, is a waste of time and money for the child, parents, and can even be a discouragement to professors who do not see a child succeed in "their" degree. College is a wonderful advantage for learning and succeeding, but this may not be the way for learning and succeeding for each child.

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