by Tami Beck

Created on: July 07, 2009

People often say things like "if he wants my trust, he'll have to earn it". But is trust something that should be earned, or should trust be given freely? On a professional level, trust needs to be earned. An employee needs to earn the trust of an employer, by consistently doing the tasks assigned in a timely and appropriate way. When trust has been earned, it is rewarded by job security and advancement. The employer also needs to earn the trust of an employee, by consistently assigning appropriate tasks and generally treating staff well. A company needs to earn the trust of its consumers, by consistently providing quality services or products, in order to thrive and grow. On the professional level, trust is something that has to be earned.

But on a personal level, trust is something that should be free, and not have to be earned. When one enters into a relationship, whether with a friend, lover, and even family members, trust is given freely. After all, we don't enter into relationships when we expect someone to betray our trust in them. We accept them, with the expectation that they will not betray us in anyway, and they naturally expect the same from us. We trust them to be our friend or lover, and to hold us in the same esteem that we hold them. Trust, freely given, is the natural and vital first step for every healthy relationship.

Of course, there are some people who are unwilling, or unable, to enter into a relationship trustingly. They insist that their trust must be earned, not just given away. These are people whose trust has been betrayed at some point in their lives, perhaps more than once. Through the pain of betrayals, they have learned to be suspicious of others. They enter into relationships expecting to cheated, unless it can be proven to them that their suspicions are unfounded. Even so, before they were hurt and became embittered, they also gave their trust freely. It was only after that bond was broken that trust became something that had to be earned.

Trust should be freely given, by all parties, in any given relationship. Only if that initial trust is broken should trust have to be earned, and then only by the person who broke that bond. Relationships without trust will not grow, but will only stagnate and eventually fade away. But relationships built on mutual trust, freely given, will flourish and endure through the years. Yes, trust must be free, not earned. Healthy relationships depend on it.

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