Growing Old

I've never liked to hear aging referred to as 'growing old,' which sounds like something you've left in the refrigerator that should be tossed out. Or like an old heap of a car that nothing can help, not even a new carburetor. My thought is this: Let's change the phrase to 'old and growing.' Already, it's a better phrase, especially if you compare the two.

Growing old sounds too much like graying hair and thick eyeglasses. It sounds like sitting on the porch with a glass of wine and another cigarette, thinking about all the places you haven't gone, the lovers you haven't had and the mistakes you know you wouldn't have made if you'd just been a little older and wiser.

Old and growing has a different tone. Okay, so you're still sitting on the porch. But now, you're thinking about the places you will go-let's make one up here-let's say China, for instance. You will definitely go there and see as much of the country as you can. You'll eat all those dishes that sound nothing like the menu from the Chinese restaurants and take-out places in your town. You promise yourself that. And you won't send a single postcard to anyone you know. If they want to go to China, let them. You'll go for yourself, and no one else.

And then there are those lovers you haven't had. Old and growing has the wisdom to tell you that maybe there are plenty of people out there who remember you with great fondness. There is probably one in particular that you might think about a lot. A person who knew you when you were really young and had no idea what real love was. Someone who saw who you were on the inside even more than on the outside. If you weren't lucky enough to marry that person, maybe the one you're thinking of is still out there.With all this technology we have, get in touch. And confirm that he or she cared about you as much as you cared about him/her. Even if nothing ever comes of it, it will assure you that you were not imagining things and that you were, after all, as cool and wonderful as you sometimes thought you were.

As for mistakes, well, anyone who's any age has made them. If you're older, you may have made more, or if not, certainly your fare share of them. The job you didn't take; the stupid fight you had with someone in your family; the house you should've bought, the lie you shouldn't have told. If you sit long enough, you'll count dozens, if not hundreds.

Growing old tells you they made a mess of your life. Old and growing tells you a different story. It says, Look, you're still on this journey. You still can do things to change. You can still be what you've dreamed of being. Maybe not an Olympic athlete or a ballet dancer or the world's greatest basketball player. But one thing that old and growing will tell you is that you've gotten smart enough not to make the same dumb mistakes again. The trick is to use all this wisdom you've earned (and you have) and this time, really learn something.

Old and growing means you can still get a college degree, still start a business, still fall in love and still make a difference to all the lives around you. It means you can look at the world with a wonder as deep and inspiring as you had when you were a kid.

Growing old? Keep it. Be old and growing. There's nothing like it.

Learn more about this author, Sheralyn Welch.
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