by Deirdre Gould

Created on: July 06, 2009

As the spouse of a hardcore gamer, the issue of too much game time has surfaced several times in our relationship. To speak the truth though, I knew, and I think most other gamer mates knew from the very beginning that gaming was a serious hobby for their spouses. For me, and probably for other spouses, getting our game-addicted loved ones to "quit" has never really been the ultimate goal. If your spouse hits you with the quit-or-I'm-gone ultimatum, you can rest assured that they've simply been pushed to the edge by neglect.

As with all pleasures, a well adjusted human being seeks balance. If you are neglecting your spouse, children or even your job, then gaming has become a problem. Now, I promise this will not be a rant from someone who has never picked up a controller before. My husband and I both play World of Warcraft avidly. (Yes, he's one of the lucky few who found a mate to join in his obsession) But gaming has always been more of a hobby for me and a way of life for him. So let me illuminate what your spouse is experiencing while you are blissfully unaware in your button mashing universe.

For the most dire cases, your spouse is wondering why you even bothered to start a relationship with her in the first place. It's not that she (or he) wants you to give up something you love, but that you occasionally stop to appreciate what you have in the real world. If you know your spouse is coming home from work in an hour, hit the pause button and clean up a little. And I don't mean just the house. When your mate walks through the door, kiss them and take the measly fifteen minutes he or she needs to vent about their day. It makes a HUGE difference. There is nothing more annoying than walking in the door to see your spouse entrenched in a couch or computer table littered with food wrappers and dirty dishes with a glazed over expression and a filthy, screaming child on the floor. These poor souls walk in and say, "wow I've had a rough day honey" only to be barely acknowledged or get the dreaded, "just give me forty-five minutes honey, I just got into a group raid." In fact, this is usually one of the last straws before you will here the quit-or-I'm-gone ultimatum.

Hopefully, you have the fifteen minute rule mastered and you are not one of the most dire cases. The second tip is to schedule your time. Whether this means scheduling a date in the real world with your spouse or scheduling time limits for your gaming is up to you. But you

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