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A Visit with Grandma

Grandma has Senile Dementia. She was diagnosed some time ago at a small old building off the campus of the state run hospital. She gave the doctor a run for his money during the preliminary exams and basically told him that she could and would outsmart him and you know, she did. But, all the symptoms were there and the day he told Mom the diagnosis I thought she would fall apart. But in life, you learn to deal with the good and the not so good.

Grandma lived in this old apartment in a building that had long ago lost its youth-much like her. She had it furnished with antiques from a bygone era. But, they sold it al at auction to help pay the bills. I can still see the ornate gold-leaf tables and curios in the back of my mind. But, that was then and this is now. Grandma lives in a nursing home with so many others who suffer from the trials and tribulations of a long life. I think she is happy or at least as content as can be-perhaps, she is best when they serve her ice cream. Grandma loves ice cream. She prefers chocolate, but has been known to gulp any flavor as long as it is cold and creamy.

The lobby of the nursing home is filled with other families who make the visit to see someone they love or at least feel guilty enough to visit. Grandma's room is on the 4th Floor and she usually sits in the dayroom for her meals and activities. While legally blind, she can see far better than most with full vision and maintains her wits and wisdom. Surely, she asks the same questions over and over again and comments on how nice I look several times, but after all at 92 years old, that isn't that terrible.

Grandma was always a great dancer and I find her attempting to stand up in her wheelchair and dance to the tunes of Benny Goodman. "Your grandpa and I would go to all the dances. He could not dance to save his life, but I didn't care because just holding him in my arms was good enough. Where is he,?" she asks me. I explain that Grandpa passed away many years ago and that I never met him. She looks away into the distance at the window and points at the sky. "There he is.." And I look out at where the ocean and sky meet and know that she is right. And a minute later, she asks me again where Grandpa is and I remind her that he is no longer with us. She looks at me knowingly and says, "I guess he is watching the Mets Game." I nod in agreement since it is so much easier than explaining it all to her again.

I enjoy my visits with Grandma. She is a cute and loving woman. Yet, I know that in time, she will no longer know me. I will not have this special woman admiring my old jeans and t-shirt and telling me how beautiful I am. Young people need someone who loves them unconditionally. For now, I hold her in my arms and dance to the sounds of the Big Bands and she looks in my eyes. I can see that somehow deep down she understands things far more than I do. And I want to dance with her forever and remember this minute in time..for far too soon it too will be but a memory.

Learn more about this author, Kelly Steier.
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