by Beth Schwartz

Created on: July 06, 2009

Every single day, I wonder how I got so lucky to find such a wonderful husband. I still can't believe that I actually found that guy that I always dreamed I'd find as a little girl. I was always told that marriage isn't easy. Well, we've been together for eight years, married for almost four, and it's still the easiest thing in the world for us. There are a lot of things that help keep our marriage easy. These are the top ten.

1) Honesty. It is so important, in this day and age, to be honest with one another. Don't keep secrets and don't lie. If there's a reason you feel like you can't be honest with one another, perhaps you should try to figure out why.

2) Communication. If something bothers me or something bothers him, we talk about it. We don't yell about it and we don't pretend it doesn't bother us, we talk about it. The more you keep it inside, the more it festers, and then it just ends up blowing up at a later date and it becomes bigger than it needs to be.

3) Have fun together. Act weird. Play games. Take a walk together. Play catch. Dance funny for no reason. Be married to your best friend. Laugh often. Don't take life so seriously.

4) Have fun apart. I think the thing that bothers me most is watching other couples act like it's the end of the world because one spouse went out with their friends and didn't call every hour, or one spouse couldn't believe the other would go out and leave them home alone. Not having a life outside the marriage will just cause resentment and neediness.

5) Compliment each other. If he or she looks nice, tell them.

6) Appreciate each other. It's so important to feel appreciated and to show appreciation. The biggest reason employees are not happy in their jobs is because they don't feel appreciated. Marriage is no different. Don't take each other for granted. Put a note in his lunch telling him how much you appreciate and love him. Put a note in her purse saying the same.

7) Share the work. Compromise. If one spouse cooks dinner, the other should clean up from dinner. If one spouse mows the lawn, the other should do the laundry.

8) Rub each other's back. If your spouse had a hard day, rub his or her back. If your spouse got a promotion, rub his or her back. It's a great way to show each other you care, and it really helps you to remain close and appreciate one another.

9) Have friendly competitions. My husband and I will give each other a word that they can't say, i.e., I can't say "fat," and he can't say, "crap." Anytime we say the word we're not supposed to say, the other person gets a ten-minute backrub. Or if one spouse wants to lose weight, have a weekly weigh-in competition. For every pound lost, you get a ten-minute backrub. Friendly competitions are an easy way to bond, even if you are busy.

10) Don't forget that, even though you're still married, you're still dating. You shouldn't stop "wooing" your spouse. Still go out to dinner; still go out on dates.

Long story short: marriage doesn't need to be hard work. Marriage can be easy and fun. May your marriage be a long and enjoyable one!

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