by Janine Culotta

Created on: July 05, 2009   Last Updated: July 06, 2009

Can working women be good mothers? When posing this question, firstly, we must state that all women are working women. In fact, some may argue that stay at home mothers work harder than their professional working-mother counterparts. So the assumption that women who stay at home don't work is a myth. Dedicating oneself to the needs of the CHILD, rather than the needs of the boss, client, or whatever, is what makes a good mother..by definition. Though it is true that out-of-home workers can provide other resources to fill in for their absence, the quality of the replacement mother will not be as effective. Paying someone else to love and care for a child, doesn't always work. Mothering is tough work. Care-givers may not always be as conscientious as a mother who has the child's best interest a heart, at all times. Sure there are dads, grandparents, nannies, day-care providers and neighbors who may step in and tag team in care-giving; however, the child is not getting the constant attention of one focused individual. Children who get shuffled, may not always get the proper discipline necessary to guarantee a well balanced upbringing.

Dr. Laura's book "In Praise of Stay-at-home Mothers" lays out the critically important functions of the SAHM. To ensure that the family unit is not compromised, she suggests that families thrive best when "the woman is able to be the care-giver and the man is the provider". It doesn't take a rocket-scientist to figure that out. Women in the home provide the balance and security necessary for the basic needs of every member of the family(including herself). They are the glue that holds the world together. Without their vital work at home, the society will crumble...much as we see today.

When women leave the home to have careers, suddenly the focus shifts away from the family. This creates a void that is not easily fulfilled. Working women have many hats to wear, they can't possibly manage to give 100% to their kids' needs, let alone that of their husband's.This may be why the divorce rate is through the roof. They may be able to contribute economically, however, more toys and larger homes are not necessarily what kids need. Children(of all ages), need loving-care, guidance, support and management, at all times. Mothering is not something that someone can micro-manage from a remote location. The distance between working women and their families is huge. How can a woman work all day long,sit in traffic, come home and be expected to fulfill a whole day of mothering into four hours, without having time for herself? This is not the prescription for a happy home, for the children or for the mother.

Another issue is that, all too often, woman are misled to think that it is important for a child to be proud of their mother. It is not about the mother. It's about the child! Mothers need to make their kids top priority, so kids feel valued. Buying them more stuff, larger rooms, and camp does not guarantee happy, normal people. If anything it masks the problems and creates challenges later in life. When the child becomes increasingly materialistic and unable to fulfill whatever whimsical desires come their way, they may end up miserable in the end.

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