by Nightmarehippiegirl

Created on: February 05, 2007   Last Updated: May 02, 2007

At 35 I found myself falling I love with a man that at 23 was 12 years my junior. Initially I resisted the relationship based simply upon the difference in our ages, but in time it became evident that our feelings for each other were equally strong and my happiness was dependent upon getting past the perceived scandalous nature of dating a younger man. So in working through my own issues about the relationship, I also set out to understand what it was that drew him to me. This is what I learned.

Older women are not so "plastic". As we age and mature we tend to learn that appearances are not as important as we once thought. I wear a lot less makeup now than I did in my younger years, and it no longer takes me an hour to primp before I go out the door. My man once explained to me that he enjoys kissing a woman that doesn't have "an inch of waxy crap all over face", and that he never liked having to worry about getting the stuff on his clothing either. In addition, we both enjoy the spontaneity of heading out at the last minute to go rafting or catch a ballgame without all the primping and fuss.

Older women are more independent. Not only am I completely self-sufficient, able to pay my own bills, manage my own issues and make my own decisions; I am also capable of making my own plans if my man wants to go out with the guys. I don't need to rely on him foot the bill, nor do I whine, cry or become all insecure if he wants time to himself. I need my time too!

Older women aren't (usually) drama queens! With the exception of a few women I know, for the most part we all got over the whole drama bit back in high school. I am not interested in the scandalous lives of his co-workers, or trying to break up relationships between others, nor do I become passive aggressive with him to get my way. I will never call and tell him my period is late in order to keep him for leaving me, nor will I beg him to stay if he wants to go. I understand that a relationship is to be cherished and not a venue for manipulative or derisive behavior.

And finally, older women are more experienced. Not only have I mastered the more insignificant aspects of my life, but I've learned the ins and outs of the larger things too. I can cook him a gourmet dinner, select the appropriate bottle of wine, and greet him at the door in the right attire. Afterward I share my intimate experience with him, and show him how to please me as well. It can't get much better than that! ;)

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