by Christopher Luke

Created on: July 05, 2009   Last Updated: July 02, 2011

CARAVANNING ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT

A few days break
Away from the stresses of work
Gives one much-needed time
To recharge one's batteries
And give one a chance
To explore the great unknown
Beyond the four walls of home and work!

The island itself
With its rolling hills and narrow roads,
Houses old and new and
Built in close proximity to each other in the towns,
Could just as easily be

An extension of Tunbridge Wells;
Yet, here, for a few hours at least
One feels detached from reality.

What is reality, I hear you ask.
To me, so often, now that Philippe has gone and is no more
Life is little more than
Rushing round like a headless chicken
For five nights each week at work
And, in-between, attempting to relax as best one's anxiety allows one to do
Whilst still, at times, struggling
To come to terms
With being on one's own;
And no longer having Mr Right
To hold; to share with;
To kiss and caress,
In the hours, and on the days,
One is not working to pay one's bills.

The Isle of Wight too
Was a place where we hoped to visit together
As whilst Philippe had been there as a boy
I had not been there before;
And so, whilst exploring the house and grounds of Osbourne House,
I could subconsciously feel his presence
Whilst reading the extracts from Queen Victoria's journals on the walls
And echoing her sentiments about the man in one's life
In-between surveying the beauty of the surrounding countryside,
And appreciating the gentle warm breeze blowing-in from the nearby sea
All serving to afford one much-needed but, alas, all-too-brief respite
From one's expected duties across the pond
In the urban jungle called Tunbridge Wells
And its ever-increasing, forever intrusive, extension called work!

My work-related anxiety, more often than not, makes me
So on-edge I cannot begin to relax
That on the rare occasions, like this, I do
I feel, at once, at a loss what to do.
No longer ensnared by life's daily rituals
Of walking and working, wanking and washing;
Or held captive by the equally tedious necessities
Of shitting, shaving and showering,
I feel I am happily dreaming, either about or in an unknown place
Free from the absence of chronic and persistent worry
About what lies around the corner.

Seize the moment I hear myself say
And hold it while you can!
Yet, as I let the hours slip by,
Another day quickly draws to a close;
Another month ends and a new one begins
I am often left feeling
Unfulfilled; and having achieved no more
Than I did in the hours, and may be, days before
Other than perhaps to have temporarily stilled the crushing waves inside my mind,
As the tides of troubled thoughts, low-spirits and loneliness to go out;
And one is left, for once, with time to breathe,
An all-too-rare opportunity to attempt to unwind;
A few precious moments to still and inhale the fresh air
And cherish the often-overlooked beauty of creation everywhere.

Here and now, in the company of friends from Tunbridge Wells Mental Health Resource Centre,
With good food and accommodation,
Good weather under the warmth and light of the warm summer sun,
I do not feel alone.
Away, for a few days, from the stresses of work,
I feel able to enjoy the simple things in life
Like going for a walk or a swim in the pool,
Playing scrabble with a friend,
Or even attempting to compose a few short lines of prose,
Now that I have untied all but a couple of mental knots
And feel again
The long-forgotten, but much-desired, sense of peace and freedom.

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