by Mwandi M.

Created on: July 05, 2009

Why do women attempt to make men jealous? When I think about this question, I have to make it personal to be able to answer it. Thus it becomes, why do I attempt to make any man in my life jealous? The initial answer seems simple, but in depth analysis of same leads to a myriad of intricacies that can only be found within a woman's brain.

Why do I attempt to make my boyfriend jealous? It's my way of ascertaining that he cares for me. I have read, heard and seen a countless number of times that men are territorial creatures over the things they care for. Not that I want to be one of his possessions I'm too feministic for such terminology but I want to know that he considers me very important and will want to protect me and show me off as his. Words alone, such as, saying he loves me, he cares for me, and all that jazz are not enough. Many a man will say things to make a woman's heart melt. However, his actions will tell me a different story and more often than not, the truth of how he feels.

Why do I attempt to make my ex-boyfriend jealous? I hate to admit that such an action may stem from insecurity and self-esteem. When my relationships ended, one of my biggest fears (and probably similar to several women) is that we shan't find another man to care for us. In most cases, it's absurd, especially when the relationship was abusive. However, upon entering into a new, healthier relationship, there's always a certain pride with showing the ex-boyfriend, hey! I'm hot! I have another man and he's better than you! and if should fall prey to my little play, it boosts my self-esteem knowing that I'm still desirable, not to just any man, but a man who threw me away.

Why do I attempt to make a crush or a man I like, jealous? When I desire someone and they don't reciprocate my feelings or advances, it is wounding to the ego. Thus, in my attempts to have my feelings reciprocated, it requires that he views me as desirable. One way of garnering this emotion is playing the competition and covet card. Men naturally are competitive creatures. When a man sees something he could have with another man, it's within his instincts to acquire the same for himself. This doesn't always work, but it's usually a very good attempt at getting the man you want.

All in all, my attempts at making a man jealous in my life had to do with my level of security and my self-esteem. These are my reasons. Many women will share them, some may not. Some methods are destructive, others are child's play and acceptable in every day life. At the end of the day, the more secure I am in a relationship and in myself, the less need I have for jealousy.

Learn more about this author, Mwandi M..
Click here to send this author comments or questions.