by Rosalie Vincent

Created on: July 05, 2009

I'm all about compassion, trust me. I, of all people, completely understand trauma and issues and baggage and ALLLL that. What I don't understand is how some people choose to wallow in self-loathing and/or pity instead of pursuing solutions to known problems. What I don't understand is how anyone over 18 and not still living at home can act like complete nut-whacks and blame said nut-wackiness on their parents *insert sucky parenting infraction here.*

I mean, there comes a point in life when we have to come to terms with the fact that regardless of how we grew up, what happened to us in 10th grade, what lack of opportunity we've had, or what particular statistic we happen to unfortunately represent, all that is over now and we can live our lives any way we want. And hell that said, you know what? I'm not one to complain and not propose solutions, so here's my completely unsolicited advice for anyone wishing to "get over it" once and for all already and finally have a "normal" life.

#1: Appreciate who you are TODAY - however you stumbled upon yourself: Understand that whatever happened in the past is yep, you got it, in the past. Did it suck righteously at the time? No doubt. But did you survive it and live to let it become the source of your stamina, wit, artistic brilliance and foundation of your utterly profound soul? Survey says, "YES," so realize and accept - nay, embrace - the fact that without all the crap of yesterday you wouldn't be nearly as fabulous as you are today. In effect, everything you have that's good in your life now, you have because your drama made you worthy of it.

#2: Stop trying so hard. You are cool enough just as you are - yes really, I promise, seriously already. There are some things in life that require a bunch of hoopla, and there are some that really aren't that big of a deal. Chances are you will be called on your reaction if you screw up the difference between the two, and if that's the case, sweet. Treat it as a learning experience and do a better job of going with the flow next time. Do not, I repeat DO NOT turn into a martyr, fish for compliments or get defensive or pissy. This doesn't help your cause at all, and in fact, makes it worse for both you and anyone else involved. You will never get over your baggage if you refuse to acknowledge you indeed have baggage, and thus, fail to entertain the possibility you could be overreacting or overcompensating as a result.

#3: Profess the following mantra over and over again

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