by Heather Rascon

Created on: July 04, 2009   Last Updated: July 07, 2009

Children learn all the reasons not to drink in school. They learn all the dangers of drinking and driving and the health risks of alcohol and drugs. Possibly the fact that they hear this from their teachers may be one of the reasons they feel the need to at least try the stuff. Doing exactly what you're told not to do is something we've all been doing since we first learned the word "no". I use a different approach. I treat my children like people with opinions and minds of their own. They may not always agree with me but I respect and encourage that. I not only tell my children what they should and shouldn't do but also why. Not just because I said so.

Teaching your children to drink responsibly doesn't have to mean sharing a drink with them over dinner. It doesn't have to mean ever buying a drink for them at all. It doesn't mean encouraging or condoning teen drinking. It means first setting a good example yourself. I myself rarely drink and when I do I don't get drunk and I never drive. I do, however, share stories from my teen years and all the mistakes I made. It means saying "I know you'll probably want to try drinking yourself someday so here are some things you should never do. Don't ever drink and drive. Don't ever get in a car with someone who's been drinking, including friends' parents who say their fine. If you do decide to drink while at a party don't get drunk. Just have one or two drinks and don't drink too fast. If you do decide to drink know that you'll probably do something stupid or something you wouldn't normally do when you're sober."

My children also know that if they are ever in a situation where they can't drive or their friends can't drive that they are to call me for a ride home, no matter what time it is. I can't promise not to have an opinion about it but I have promised they won't be in any trouble for it. I've told their friends the same thing and made sure they have my phone number. They know I don't want them to drink but if they do I at least want them to be safe.

In today's society of peer pressure and drinking games that even your young teen knows about, simply telling your child not to drink is irresponsible and a bit naive. Parenting means not only teaching right and wrong but also preparing your child to live in this world without you. Don't get me wrong, I don't want my teens to drink and I share that attitude with them often. But I am also not naive enough to think they will never try it. My ninth grader gets invited to parties all the time and has since she was in seventh grade. Teen drinking exists and your children are exposed to it constantly, in real life and in movies and television. The teen years are when they practice being adults. They may not be ready to make adult decisions but they certainly think they are. So this is when you help them with these decisions by giving them all the facts and a few tips and tricks here and there.

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