by Joshua Simmet

Created on: July 04, 2009   Last Updated: July 06, 2009

The exchange of gifts at holiday time is a chance to show how much the person the gift is meant for means to the giver. The ritual of giving gifts is preceded by the ritual of buying gifts, something that can be done in groups or alone. Yet some families refuse to allow their teen children to do their own shopping during the season. The common belief is that the teens will do something that is socially unacceptable. Which is ridiculous.

By trusting your teen with the responsibility to go out and purchase the gifts on his or her own you are telling them that they are not fully a child any more. Some claim that if the teens are left alone in a mall or department store that they are going to cause all sorts of trouble, ride shopping carts down aisles, open products and spread them across the floor, kill animals in the pets section, that sort of thing. Yet by not trusting your teen you are telling him that you don't trust him, at all. And eventually they are going to have to go out and do their own shopping.

The claim that they do not yet have enough maturity is what I call "ageist", as well as ridiculous. How else are they going to become more mature? By sitting at home watching TV? No, they need to get out into the real world for some alone time, to realize how things work. And the holidays are quite possibly the best time for this, when everyone feels in a better than usual mood and is full of holiday cheer.

Teens are far more ready for responsibility than most people give them credit for; in fact, I believe that one of the main reasons that teens act up is that they are not given enough freedom in their lives. By allowing them to buy their own gifts you give them the chance to prove that they are ready to be treated as less of a child, which is something that will really help relations with your teen.

I in no way condone just driving up to the mall and giving your teen a boot to the small of his back for the day. You should make sure they understand that they are just there to buy holiday gifts, make sure they have a cell phone and be sure they know where you will be when you pick them up (if they are of the non-driving variety). And if the teen proves that they are incapable of doing their own holiday shopping then don't allow them to do a number of things that normally teens are given the right to do. Treat them like the child they have shown themselves to be. But always try to give them the chance before you make that judgement.

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