by Michael Fletcher

Created on: July 04, 2009   Last Updated: July 08, 2009

Ever found yourself looking around to see what everyone else is doing or found yourself in a cold sweat as you keep an opinion to yourself in a meeting when you know you can add value to the discussion. If so you already know the damage low self-esteem can cause. Self-esteem has an impact on every area of your life. In a very real way the difference between low self esteem and high is the same as the difference between success and failure. The importance of self-esteem can easily be seen through the effect it has on key behaviours and beliefs you may hold like:

- Confidence

- The choices you are able to make

- Your ability to moderate your moods

What does it mean to have high self-esteem? Your self-esteem is, is a measure of the worth you attribute to yourself physically, emotionally, mentally and of the their values. Many damaging behaviors and beliefs are symptomatic of low self-esteem.

Individuals with low self-esteem will without exception experience low confidence in some or all areas of their lives. Confidence flows from the inside out and individuals with low self-esteem typically will deem their own worth inferior to others leading them to hold their views to themselves and fear asserting themselves in social situations and in moments of conflict. This symptom of low self-esteem can lead to becoming involved in abusive relationships, settling for thankless careers and a plethora of other behaviours that require an individual to step out of the shadows and assert their rights.

Another symptom of low self-esteem is the manner in which you estimate your position in society. The manner in which you actualize your inner-self (live the way you believe and think) is influenced by society. We have beliefs about what we should achieve, earn and how we can contribute to society. Low self-esteem is crippling to this self-actualization as it will influence your belief in the ability you have to help others or yourself as you value your own contributions so little. This will hold you back from becoming involved in society to the extent you want and ultimately stop you living a happy and healthy life.

The choices individuals with poor self-esteem make tend to agree consistently with group thinking. Peer pressures typically will influence them for better or worse. They determine their happiness relative to the success of others. This inability to make independent choices about their own happiness will affect every aspect of their lives as they struggle to stand out at work, home and ultimately in life. Low self-esteem causes indecision and from this indecision arises a type of social paralysis where even the simplest choice must be checked against the views of others before action can be taken.

Another effect of low-self esteem is that individuals struggle to moderate their moods. When someone places little or no value on themselves the opinions of others have a much bigger impact on their moods. In simpler terms and individual with high self-esteem will dismiss criticism of a view they hold easily and objectively, knowing innately the value of their own opinion. For someone with low self-esteem a similar criticism will be viewed as an attack on his or her self worth. They may even construe this as proof of their lack of worth. In the same way individuals with poor self-esteem will tend to over react to compliments. Having your moods at the whims of others is extremely problematic and ultimately can destroy the quality of one's life as you continuously search for validation from others.

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