Are we too eager to sue one another in America today?

by Brandy Smith

Created on: July 03, 2009

We have become a litigative society; a weak and fragile society who can't face the truth, or say the words, "I'm sorry." We lie and say we're doing great in our marriages, interpersonal relationships, and jobs, and we cultivate the air of impassivity and make believe. We buy larger homes then we can afford, we buy fancy cars, and we are so scared someone might call us out on it. I don't mean to come off "La Vie Boheme", but frugality today is really cool. Remember that the old pistols at dawn phase when duels were an attempt at settling feuds, and debt? In Valmont, the title character is shot and killed in a duel and yet nothing is resolved. This was outrageous then, and it has shape shifted into the form of a lawsuit. Even after the money is rewarded to you, you are still embarrassed, you still feel empty. If someone kicks you in the shin but they give you a dollar to make up for it, your shin still hurts.

My family, collectively, has been involved in six lawsuits. Not one of us was eager to participate in the lawsuits. I do not believe we are eager to sue in America today; we are just too scared to face the truth about a situation. Apparently, we have lost sight of how to be polite to one another. The only people eager to get to court these days are lawyers. However, they are excused, because they are just doing their job. We are too scared not to sue: If we don't sue them for doing us wrong, then we will be shamed in our community and circle of friends. With the exception of wrongful termination and wrongful death suits, the plaintiff wants instant gratification and satisfaction. A lawsuit does not provide this, but what it does provide for the plaintiff, for a brief moment, is knowing that the other party is suffering as much as they were once suffering. There is nothing exciting, thrilling, rewarding, or glamorous about a lawsuit. It is time consuming, boring, paper-pushing, tedious, and an endless tennis match of, He said - She said.

In some parts of the country there are rehabilitation centers, and counselors for litigation trauma as a lawsuit can take 1-5 years before it gets to court. We are too eager to hurt someone else, because our feelings were not spared. Why not take the time to listen to what the other side has to say? Before you get to court there is a mediation period, so why on earth, after the money spent would you not settle during the mediation? That is the purpose of the lawsuit: to find the justice, to bring forth the truth, to resolve a problem and come to a mutual resolution. But now you have dug yourself in a hole, you filed the lawsuit, you can't back out now, what will your attorney think, he just told you, you will win! My attorney recently said, Every lawyer tells you they will win.. 50% of them are wrong. What we are missing in this country is apathy. Let's take a lesson on the etiquette of a disagreement from Emily Post: Count to ten. When someone's behavior makes you angry, take a few deep breaths and ask yourself, is it really worth blowing my stack over this?"

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