by Rebecca Rehm

Created on: July 02, 2009

Teenagers are complex, there is not always a right or wrong way to deal with situations and blaming the parents when a child gets into trouble seems to be the normal thing to do but the fact is it's not always the parents fault.

Teens have a very unique thought process and it has been my experience that they are going to do what they're going to do and it really doesn't matter what the parents say.

I was one of those people you know the ones who see a parent struggling with an unruly child and I thought, " if that was my kid I would do this or I would do that" and I, backed by the wisdom of youth and inexperience honestly believed I could handle the situation better than the child's parent. But in reality each child is different and what works with one may not work with another. Now that I have children of my own I wish I could take back every time I stood in judgment of those poor struggling parents.

You cannot always control who your teens hang out with and what they are doing all you can do is your best and do a lot of praying and if you're lucky you might make it through your children's teen years with some semblance of sanity left. And then they hit their young adult years and I wish I could say it gets better but unfortunately that's not always the result. Every now and then you might catch a glimpse of that sweet faced child you used to know and remember that if you're lucky enough to get that glimpse, cherish it, because it may be a very long time before you see it again. I am not an expert but I definitely have a lot of experience in this department.

I have four children ranging from ages twenty to twenty eight, two of them have been a challenge, one seems to be getting a handle on her life and the other one has never been a problem at all. They were all raised in the same household by the same parents and our values have not changed over the years. The oldest and the youngest got in with the wrong crowd despite what we said or did. They seem to have the need to learn on their own. they would tell us they were doing completely opposite of what they were doing and this includes going to school. At one point I had to go sit in class to ensure they went.

They were raised with Christian values and a very strong belief in God and all four still have this strong belief.

They will tell anyone who asks, and I know this because they have told me, that they couldn't have asked for better parents, they have always known they are loved and can talk to us about anything and also have stated that any trouble they had could be blamed on nobody but themselves. My advice is; never judge other parents until you walk in their shoes and for parents dealing with teens if you have problems and have done everything you can don't blame yourself.

Now don't get me wrong I love every one of children and wouldn't trade any of them but it has definitely been a roller coaster ride and I am sure God was teaching me something through all of it and one day that lesson will become clear. For now I content myself with the knowledge that God will never give you more than you can handle and that everything happens for a reason.

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