It's not difficult to understand why people have so few real friends when you consider how fast-paced our lives have become. Years ago, when we were children, it seemed like we'd always have our same circle of close friends; but that's also when summer seemed endless.

Things never stop changing as we grow up. Often, the people we thought we would have as friends our whole life have been left behind when we (or they) moved away. It's not unlike what happens to us when we move on from one job to another. We all profess our friendship amidst farewell parties. We promise to keep in touch, but how often does such a promise hold up?

Aside from the hectic pace of life today and the fact that people do move around more than ever before, there are other reasons people have so few real friends.

Friendship, not acquaintanceship, is something that needs to be fed and nurtured. Of course, there are friendships that continue for years by mail or email only, but they are the rare ones.

Friendships where you actually make time for each other, maybe not every week or even every month, but as often as possible with phone calls and emails in between meetings; they are the kind of friendships I am speaking about.

A friendship where you know you can depend on your friend if you are in a bind and need money, if you need to be bailed out of jail, or if you need a kidney. That's the friendship that I consider real. A real friend will do anything for you. More than that, a real friend will trust you and believe in you like no one else in your life, except maybe your mother. That's a friendship that requires a genuine commitment.

We all know it's difficult to maintain that kind of friendship. Life gets in the way. Our work, our families, outside activities, volunteer work, all those things can prevent us from being a real friend, as much as we'd like to be.

Our intentions may start out great at the beginning of what we think will be a forever friendship. Then, before we know it, weeks or even months have gone by without keeping in touch, even when we live in the same town. Like I said, life gets in the way. Heck, this even happens with our own extended family.

So what can you do to keep the few real friends you have? Even if it's difficult, if you really want to keep these real friends, you have to work at it. If you don't, like those before them, they will drift out of your life; and you will bitterly regret it one day.

Learn more about this author, Linda Joyce.
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