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Horses: The funniest thing

by Tom Brennan

Created on: July 02, 2009

Horses are herd animals, even if there are only two of them in the pasture. There is an "alpha" and there is the "not the alpha". It's natural. A couple of weeks ago one of the clients at our boarding stable brought out a Shire horse to board for a while. "Luther" stands 17 hands and about 1700 pounds of "largeness". When you introduce a new horse into a herd the title of "alpha" is on the line. I watched in helpless worry while my mustang, "Chance" made his move into the upper strata of horse-ness. Not wanting to witness the carnage, I wandered away to do chores, making a mental inventory of my vet supplies to repair whatever damage would be done to a 14 hand 900 pound "contender" by a horse twice his size. I looked over my shoulder to see both of them rearing up and duking it out. Seeing a giant like Luther up on his hind legs is a sight to behold, sort of like seeing Godzilla with a mane and tail. At feeding time, the question "where will Luther eat?" (obvious answer: "anywhere he wants to"), came up. Surprisingly (for me at least), he shared. Somehow alfalfa makes peace wherever it appears, maybe it should be served at the United Nations.

At bed-check (that's where gates, horses, things they break to keep me up late at night, and other things that can go wrong at ten o'clock at night when the normal people are in bed are checked), I went out to "King" Luther's pasture to give out the night time cookies. There at the gate were the new friends, "Chance", the other horses, and "Luther". Good thing I had loaded up with cookies. Each of the children got his reward for being good.

One thing about bed-check. Horses have a perverted sense of humor. They like to watch you put up large feeders they knocked over, they hide and watch. They also think that when you right up the feeder you are putting something in it. One night as I labored to put the large metal contraption back on its legs, I heard a stampede coming out of the darkness. Four horses were bearing down on me out of the night, intent on whatever midnight snack they felt they were entitled to since it was midnight and they wanted a snack. I just got out of the way in time to scold each of them.They also enjoy taking down lines of fencing. They are experts at deconstruction of carefully and laboriously set up fencing. When you assemble your tools they will gather together to "assist" you in your work. Some how noses know where you will put your hammer, they knock over cans on nails and other parts, they take gloves out of pockets, remove hats, lean on wire that you are trying to stretch, and they really think they are helping. After all it's their fence. If we didn't have so much help the job would take less time.

Out here we have two seasons: winter and summer with a 24 hour break between 40 degrees and 104. Luther had settled in to being the best big buddy and everyone admitted to his gentle leadership. Even the "contender", Chance had surrendered his dream of being "numba one" to being best big buddy's buddy. One heat spell had us all searching for any kind of shade. The pasture has a western exposure, great for 50 mile an hour surprise wind storms, and direct sun. I looked over to see Luther standing tall beside the water tank, beside him, crouched down, was Chance. The shade thrown off by 1700 pounds of Shire horse is quite impressive. Chance had learned that the benefits of being the alpha horse are secondary to those of using your Shire horse friend for shade and cool. That horse just amazes me sometime.

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