by Tracey Cox

Created on: July 02, 2009   Last Updated: July 03, 2009

After a long and emotionally stagnant marriage, I reentered the dating scene with the zest and excitement of a teenager. I haven't dated since my early twenties and was looking forward to meeting men whom I could connect with intellectually as well as physically. The difference between being an adolescent and a career oriented, single mother in my thirties made a huge impact on the type of men I would even consider becoming acquainted with. I now know what I want, need, and expect from a relationship and am not willing to settle for just anyone. I posted my profile on an on-line dating site, signed up for some co-ed activities, and reconnected with my single friends for nights out on the town. It didn't take long before I had a list of suitors to choose from. I haven't met the love of my life yet, but the memories of these comical first dates will stay with me for a lifetime!

Jeff - Cat loving Vampire

We met at Applebee's for drinks. As I was walking over to the table he looked me up and down and nodded his head in appreciation. I smiled inside knowing that he liked what he saw. It wasn't long before he told me, I rated a 7.5. That's right ladies and gentlemen, on a scale of 1-10, I'm a 7 by man standards. I wasn't sure I should be insulted or amused by his tactless approach. He's attractive, but has the emotional baggage of an airport runway. He talked more about his exes than anything else the entire evening......What he needs is a counselor....not a date!

After a couple hours of him drowning in his past love affairs, I reluctantly agreed to stop off at his apartment with him before heading to our next destination. The first thing I noticed was the thick coating of cat hair on the furniture. My allergies went on full attack and in less than five minutes my nose was running like a faucet. Before I could excuse myself, he told me to wipe my snot and handed me a box of Kleenex. Could I be any more embarrassed? He then proceeded to show me his vampire art collection. Seriously.....he collects vampire posters. Is he a closet GOTH? The evening came to an abrupt halt shortly thereafter as he leaned over and whispered So, do you make out on a first date? Apparently cat hair, post nasal drainage and blood sucking gets this guy in the mood. I stood up and bolted for the door mumbling it was late and I was really tired after all. Guys, if you have to ask a woman to kiss you, then you shouldn't be asking.

Jason # 1 - Heavy Metal Wannabe

He looked like Bon

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