by Gwendolyn Gordon

Created on: July 02, 2009

Life can throw some harsh lessons in your path and sometimes it seems as if you just can't possibly handle anything else. That, of course, is the precise moment-as that thought still hangs over you like a conversation bubble-life decides you can, in fact, handle something else.

It's really interesting if you examine your life closely-look at those really dark, awful times and think of what you gained from that experience. Really think about it for a minute. What I've learned is that the things that happen that seem so easy are kind of a waste of time; you never really learn anything, you never really get anything out of those easy times, the clock just sort of ticks away your life while absolutely nothing of value happens. Don't get me wrong-I do love the easy times-I'm just glad a little something of substance is thrown in there to keep us on our toes.

Maybe it seems like I'm an optimist or I'm clueless to what's going on in the world. The funny thing is, I am one of those lucky Americans experiencing first-hand just how awful our economy is. I lost my job a few weeks ago. I am a single woman in her 30's thousands of miles away from any family. I am in the deepest part of the very darkest period in my life to date. I pray that the darkest part has just past. To say I understand obstacles would be an understatement at the very least.

Interestingly enough, I've never been a very religious person. I have my belief in God, but I've never been one to share that so organized religion was never my thing. And I have prayed over the years, but not regularly and not as intensely as I have since I lost my job.

When truly awful things happen-things you did not choose-you feel as if you have no control over what's happening to you. Your life is falling apart around you and there is absolutely nothing you can do. The thing we have to remember that so many of us forget is that we do have control; we do have a choice. A big choice-maybe the most important decision you'll ever make. How will you react to this trial? Will you see that this is happening for some reason? Even though you can't imagine what it could be. If you know there is a reason-if you see that like a beacon of light in the impenetrable darkness you're in, then you have faith. Strong, unwavering faith.

Faith is really the only thing you do have when the darkness surrounds you-when you don't know where to turn, when all of the people you reach out to for support shun you-it's all you have. And, as I've discovered, it's more than enough. I still have no job-no idea how I'll buy food or pay rent-but I have complete and total faith that someday I will. I know it will all be ok in the end. And I know I'll look back on this awful situation and realize all of the amazing gifts it gave me, not the least of which is a renewed and much stronger faith in the fact that there is something so much bigger than any of us guiding us along the path we must tread.

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