by Richard Wing

Created on: July 02, 2009

My Jinni's comfort me, serving me breakfast and start preparing the opium pipe. I sit there surrounded by infinite exotic pleasure, head in my hands and realize all of this happened for a definitive reason. I am here for a particular reason unknown to me. It's something big time and ugly for sure, because no one receives this amount of pleasure over a blackjack win unless there somethings attached to it. My Jinni's see me in contemplation and tell me that their very happy to be servants to me and that they can provide me with anything I desired. I pull on the opium pipe long and hard and ask, "Did I really play blackjack with Dick Cheney And George Herbert Walker Bush?" As the warmth of the opium starts to take hold and overcome me with cool and soothing euphoria she responds, "By the way my name is Ophelia and this is my sister Mary-Catherine, and yes you did play blackjack with Dick, George Sr., Karl Wolfowitz and Donald Rumsfeld. We like to refer to him as Rummy, he's a real bastard!" I immediately apologize for my poor manners and relight the opium pipe to fulfill my need for some sort of sanity. As I try and make some kind of sense out of all of this madness they bath and dress me in a silk white outfit and paisley designed red velvet robe. It was weird but quite comfortable. I begin to ask them, "Do you hang out withe these degenerate assholes or what?" Mary-Catherine replies,"We were Dick's Jinni's, we had no choice in the matter. He won us in another rigged blackjack game from that little queer Senator Mark Foley, and it's been hell ever since!" I then ask Ophelia, "So you know Dick Cheney personally, his habits, likes, and dislikes?" She replies, "Oh yes my savior, he's a filthy, careless, degenerate gambler that needs to be stopped!" Tell me more Ophelia. She replies,"He's an annoying narcissistic schmuck that is followed around by a team of medical specialists 24/7, constantly monitoring his heart condition. Their main concern is his poor diet. For breakfast he eats four over easy eggs, one pound of Boars Head bacon, slung corned beef hash saturated in bacon grease, two garlic and onion bagels smeared with scallion and vegetable cream cheese and washes it all down with a full pot of espresso coffee. His snacks between lunch consist of liberally soaked shrimp toast, mesquite barbecued pork rines dipped in sour cream and onion sauce, constantly smoking foot long Cuban cigars while sipping cold opal sambuca babbling incoherently regarding impacts

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