by Lajoy Hill

Created on: July 01, 2009   Last Updated: July 31, 2009

Some people think of marriage as the beginning to their "Happily Ever After". In some cases this may be true. But more often than not, it doesn't turn out that way. We dream of the beautiful wedding gown and romantic ceremony. But what happens after that is where most people realize that married life is not for everyone. After the honeymoon is over is where the real work begins. Those character flaws that you once thought were cute have now become irritating and the communication problems you thought you could work your way through have gotten worse. If you go into a marriage thinking that it's going to be some sort of fairy tale that will lead you to your "Happily Ever After", then marriage may not be for you. Of course you can have your fairy tale moments, but it's not like that all the time.

Marriage is hard work. In my opinion marriage is 20% emotion and 80% devotion. Some days you may not feel like you love your spouse. On those days is when your devotion should kick in. When your spouse won't help out around the house, ignores you and the kids, or has changed his or her mind about important issues you agreed on before marriage, that is when the devotion kicks in. If you are going to bail on your spouse as soon has things get complicated, then marriage is not for you.

Marriage is about give and take. Do not think that it's going to be a 50/50 process. You are never going to get all that you put in all the time. If you are a selfish person that is only concerned about what's in it for you, then marriage is not for you. Sometimes you will be stronger in certain areas than your spouse. Therefore, for the sake of everyone involved you should be the one to handle those responsibilities. This could be anything from finances to cooking. The point is you should be willing to give up "me" for "we."

If you are unhappy and feel incomplete, marriage is not the answer. Don't go looking for someone to fulfill you. You will only attract what you are giving off. And believe it or not, two incomplete people don't make a whole. It only creates a mess of a marriage. Make sure that you are happy with who you are as a single person before you decide you bring someone into your life. That way you will bring the best of who you are into the marriage.

Marriage can be a wonderful thing if you are willing to put in the work. If not, then marriage is not for you.

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