by Becky Graham

Created on: July 01, 2009

While our homes are supposed to be our place to go for comfort and security, and our spouses or parents are supposed to be our confidants, sometimes things fall apart quickly and without warning. Domestic abuse can break an entire family unit down in the blink of an eye. Physical abuse is what we tend to focus on, but there is also mental, verbal, sexual, and emotional abuse to be concerned about. Any type of abuse in a household causes feelings of worthlessness, tension, and guilt. These are very strong and negative emotions, but they can be overcome with serious self- reflection, will power, and a positive outlook.

We've all heard about domestic violence being a vicious cycle, and it truly is. For those unfortunate enough to grow up in the presence of abuse, that type of family dysfunction becomes normalcy. A person who lives in an abusive home as a child often tends to find an abusive partner as they mature, because violence is a normal part of daily living for them. They have no idea how to form healthy relationships, because they were never provided the opportunity to learn. They begin to question whether they will ever find the kind of happiness they have seen demonstrated by other couples.

The first step to moving on from an abusive relationship is realizing that not only is abusive behavior not normal, but it's also unhealthy. It's not only unhealthy for the victim, but it also affects the victim's family and friends who try so desperately to help. Moving on to change is probably the hardest part of the recovery process. It's very difficult to change thought patterns and negative outlooks when they have been a constant throughout an entire life time. However, it is possible.

Once a victim decides to put an end to an abusive relationship, family and friends are usually willing to help and lend support wherever possible. Although this is very helpful and necessary, the majority of the work needs to be done by the victim. They need to make a promise to themselves that they will never allow themselves to be in that situation again, and they need to be unwavering in that decision. Stepping out of an abusive situation for good allows a victim to look at things in a different perspective, and begin to make the lifestyle changes necessary to living a happy and fulfilling life. This is where willpower is a very important tool.

Self-reflection is a major part of recovering from abuse. Any kind of

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