the distraction technique can sometimes work. Simply replace the forbidden object with an equally desirable object that your toddler can have. If it is a forbidden activity, then begin a new activity. Remember that the older your toddler, the harder it is to distract because older toddlers tend to have a longer attention span.

The benefit of an older toddler, however, is greater understanding. While you remove the object of desire, you can explain why it is off limits. Remember to offer something in return that your toddler may have. For instance, "You can't jump on the couch but we can play hide and seek."

4. Positive Reinforcement

Always be on the lookout for good behaviour and reward your child with attention and praise whenever you can. This encourages them to act appropriately to gain more praise and attention from their parents. Praising your child for good behaviour encourages more of the preferred behaviour.

5. Provide Lots of "In Time"

Sometimes a child acts up because he or she isn't getting enough attention from a parent. Studies have shown that children would rather experience negative attention than no attention. Make sure your child isn't acting up as a means of gaining attention by providing plenty of opportunity for spending time together. A child whose attention needs are satiated doesn't need to seek negative attention.

6. Offering Choices

Toddlers want autonomy and a chance to exert their independence. Being given the opportunity to make decisions for themselves makes them feel important rather. Toddler like to be asked for their opinion rather than being told what to do. However, it is important to thread carefully here. Offering too many choices can be overwhelming so it is best to keep it to a choice between two selections. For instance, "Would you like to wear the blue t-shirt or the white one today?"

7. Select Your Battles

Before the age of one, a child is often encouraged to try everything. Every whim and fancy is met with a positive yes. As a child grows older, they begin to encounter more nos as they learn what behaviours are not acceptable and which objects are off-limits. The frustration of always hearing the word no can be very challenging. It can be equally hard on a parent to always be at loggerheads with a child.

Try to minimize confrontations by assessing what your child desires before saying no. Sometimes the desire is not necessarily an unreasonable one and can be easily accommodated. Accommodate whenever you can and be firm and consistent when you cannot. This helps to keep your nos effective, as a toddler who hears the word no too often begins to become immune to it. Reserve your "nos" for the non-negotiable events and situations. Also remember that when you say "no", stick to it. Don't change your mind after the fact because it communicates to your child that your "nos" can sometimes be turned around and children are quick to pick up on that.

Although some tantrums simply cannot be avoided, there are many ways to manage your child to minimise the number of tantrums you both have to endure. These are just some methods that have been found to be effective and may vary from toddler to toddler. Remember that every toddler is an individual with different temperaments, preferences and feelings, therefore the tactics you use to manage your toddler will have to be specific to your own toddler. What works for some parents and toddlers does not necessarily work for others. Keep testing until you find what works best for you and your toddler.

Learn more about this author, Shen-Li Lee.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.

• << previous page
• 1
• 2
• 3

---

Add your voice

Know something about Tips for avoiding tantrums in toddlers?
We want to hear your view. Write now!