by Shen-Li Lee

Created on: July 01, 2009   Last Updated: July 02, 2009

For a first-time parent, it is important to realise that even the best-behaved toddler will have an occasional temper tantrum. Temper tantrums are a normal part of childhood development and can vary, depending on the nature and temperament of your child. It is also important to know that your child's temper tantrums are not necessarily a result of poor parenting. Family members and others may judge you on your child's temper tantrums and you should ignore them.

Temper tantrums involve whining and crying and may include screaming, kicking, hitting, and breath-holding. Equally common in boys and girls, they usually occur between the ages of one to three. As mentioned earlier, tantrums vary depending on a child's nature and individual temperament. While some children experience regular tantrums, in other children, tantrums may be rare. Some children are more prone to throwing a temper tantrum than others and you may observe these differences between your own children.

Why Temper Tantrums Occur

Toddlerhood is a stage where children are most actively learning about the world around them. They are learning new skills, rules, and boundaries on a daily basis as well as learning to deal with the intensity of their emotions and how to cope with them. When they experience difficulties completing a task, their only means of expressing their frustrations is through tantrums.

Toddlers are also egocentric and believe that the world revolves around them. Naturally, when they are prevented from taking something they desire or when they come up against the boundaries that parents have set, their inability to cope with their emotions and disappointments becomes evident through tantrums. While the reason for a child's disappointment might seem small and insignificant to a parent, it is important for a parent to realize that for a two-year-old child, running out of a favourite cereal really is the end of the world.

Certain situations can also make temper tantrums more likely to occur. For instance, when a child is tired, hungry, uncomfortable or seeking a parent's attention. Tantrums also result because of a child's inability to express feelings through words, hence the reason why they are most common between the ages of one to three, when children are still learning the language of communication.

Tactics Avoiding Toddler Tantrums

1. Communication Skills

First, it is important to be aware that temper tantrums begin to decrease as children develop the language skills to

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