by Ted Sherman

Created on: June 30, 2009

Body language as it applies to dating is often referred to as a kind of mating dance, and may include many kinds of physical movements. Anyone can observe this atavistic male-female ritual in every situation from a primitive tribal ceremony of ages ago to an episode of Dancing with the Stars.

Body language during dating is how each person sends silent signals to the other. The pantomime messages can be delivered deliberately or unconsciously. Categorizing the basics of body language in physical terms, they're facial expressions, eye movements, arm and leg positions and total personal presence. Of course, in a face-to-face dating situation, all of those silent gestures must blend in with appropriate, or at times inappropriate, speech.

For instance, how does one read facial expressions? Some people, whether unconsciously or not, project certain looks. In the critical moments of a first date, when one person looks stern and forbidding, the other will often have difficulty trying to establish a pleasant relationship.

However, that person who has what is referred to as a stone face may not be aware of how forbidding it may seem in a first encounter. One way to read it and attempt to break down the barrier is to start a pleasant conversation, and by using gentle humor and pleasant conversation, do what everyone's mother recommends to a child: turn that frown upside down.

Another way to react to body language is when observing the person's eye movements. Of course, flashing eyes, winking and fluttering eyelids send very obvious flirting signals. Narrowed eyes may mean a warning to back off, keep your distance and not come on so strongly.

Downcast eyes in a dating situation usually sends signals of extreme shyness or nervousness in dealing with the other person. A way to solve that problem is to encourage the person to look up by making friendly gestures, cheerful speech and, if appropriate to get attention, grasping the person's shoulders or arm in a friendly way.

Arm movements are important methods of body language. A gentle arm around the shoulder represents empathy, or if the grasp is made tighter by both arms, it may be an effort to dominate, sympathize, and in a dating situation, an overt sexual move. Waving and pointing arms may express enthusiasm and a way of demanding attention.

Hand movements can be very expressive, and when used by mimes, actors, dancers, singers or just people trying to impress dates, can be important. Hands and fingers, when moved deliberately

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