by Stefani Andrews

Created on: June 30, 2009   Last Updated: July 02, 2009

Dealing with the end of a relationship is never easy. You invested a lot of time, effort, love, and affection into this person and now it's over. At this point what do you do? You know that you want to get back to day to day life, but all you seem to be able to do is sit curled up on the sofa with a box of tissues. Honestly, that's the first step to getting over it. Let yourself grieve your loss. The breakup may have been unbearable but it wasn't all bad.

Remembering the good times is natural, being upset at the loss of those good times is just as natural. You have experienced a loss. A loss of affection, a loss of a relationship, and a loss of all that time you invested. Feel free to sit at home for a few weekends, watching silly romantic comedies while wrapped up in a blanket. It's the first step in the healing process and it's a good thing. The grief is how you know that you experienced something good and wonderful, even if the ending of it wasn't good or wonderful at all.

Eventually the sadness will fade and will be replaced by anger. Anger at what depends on the circumstances. It could be anger at your ex for some wrongdoing or the actual breakup. You could be angry at yourself for something you did or did not do to contribute to the breakup. Anger at the breakup itself is also very common. While this is a normal emotion regarding the breakup, there is a right and wrong way to handle it. At no time is it appropriate to use that anger as a justification to cause harm to yourself or someone else. Channel that anger in a constructive way. For some people this is going for a run, writing your anger down, clean out the closet you've been meaning to get to for months. All of these things are positive and will let you work off some of that anger.

While some articles, books, or "relationship experts" will tell you that it's okay to keep little reminders of your ex around it will only hurt you in the long run. Keeping those things around will only bring back the nostalgic memories more often and you don't need that. At some point you may be able to look back on your relationship with fondness, but for now it will just prevent you from moving on. Get rid of the reminders. This includes deleting his number from your cell phone, throwing out old letters and pictures of the two of you. If you absolutely must keep these things around, put them in a box and don't open it for a few months at least.

Whatever you do, no breakup sex! You might

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