The Truth about Cats
The truth about cats is that they are psychic. The ancient Egyptians knew this and treated this as mini-gods and often mummifying their little carcasses. Cats to this day still try to pass themselves off as gods.
Before we go too far, I'm not a cat Loony. I mean, I like cats. I have always liked cats. Cats and I get along. There was a point when I was single that I used to judge people I dated by whether they liked cats or not. I foolishly married one that didn't care for cats and have been paying for the mistake ever since. Still I'm not a cat Loony, exactly maybe a little bit, but not too bad.
So, back to my original statement that cats are psychic! I figured this out originally when I was young. I remember one Sunday lying on the floor of my home to read the funny pages out of the Sunday paper. Our local resident kitty soon became interested in my literary pursuit and decided to do, as all cats must do, and that is sit in exactly the spot on the page that I have directed my attention and to proceed to do its laundry. Doing the laundry consists of the cat putting its hind leg straight up in the air and to start licking its privates whilst purring loudly. This is standard cat behavior I'm probably preaching to the choir here.
Now the aforementioned cat behavior is not all that spooky in and of itself. It was when I decided to combat the behavior that the discovery was made that cats are psychic. What I did was to attempt to fake kitty out by laying out another piece of newspaper and feign interest in it. It didn't work; the cat knew I was trying to fake it out!
So, that sounds like feeble grounds for proving cat's psychic abilities? That was just the tip of the iceberg. Since then I have run countless experiments on cats of all makes and models and all perform remarkably alike. For example I'm in the habit of taking two books to bed, both of which I can be interested in. The idea here is that kitty will be flummoxed by which book to sit on. Which ever book kitty sits on, I choose the other to read. I can tell that this really gets next to a cat because they will proceed to then climb up on my chest to get between me and the book and obstruct my view with my own personalized showing of their private parts.
Try it yourself; it's kind of creepy. Find two or more books along with the one that you are interested in and lay them out. The cat will read your mind and lay on the one that you really want to read.
I can imagine the Egyptians having to shoo the cats off the hieroglyphics to sit petulantly on the window sill in the sunlight and flick their tails.
Some things never change.