by Rosannie Murillo

Created on: June 30, 2009   Last Updated: July 02, 2009

"I hate you!"...Many of us may feel that these words are just words or that whatever we say in a moment of anger or fury should not be taken personally or to heart because they were said in a moment of anger and we really didn't mean them, and we may be right. We may not have meant what we said at that precise moment, we may be forgiven for what we said, but the reality is, the words are already said, the damage is already done. We can't turn back the clock and unsay what we said. The lack of not knowing the immense power that words contain is what can destroy an already damaged self-esteem.

Constant negativism and criticism towards us really bring us down. In the beginning we may think "Oh he's just saying that to aggravate me or to make me angry"; but when it is a constant activity on their part towards us, we may start thinking that there really is something to what they're saying. Our brain has a distinct quality about it that whatever is repeated or constantly said towards it, he starts to memorize and believe. That is when the problem really begins. When we begin to believe the criticism that we are being given by any said person, it can transform a good stable image of ourselves to a twisted and wrecked notion of ourselves that will only lead us to even worse ways. Words such as "You can't change, "you're not good enough" or "you won't make it" all have the great potential of making us believe that we truly won't make it, that we are not good enough, that we have ultimately failed. So why keep trying right? This is the danger that we run when we start to believe these false and ridiculous statements.

Once we are headed down this obscure and shallow path, it is only a matter of time until we begin to feel oppressed; we begin to feel worthless, discouraged, ashamed, and useless and so on. Eventually all of these feelings could lead us into the dark path of depression. Once we reach the stage of depression it is really hard to get back on track to the life we once had, the happiness and success we felt and even more to believe that we are worth it, that we are good enough, and that we will make it.

This is why we need to create conscience of how powerful words are and that even though they are said for whatever reason they were, as I said before, out of anger or other reasons, the damage is already done and the words will stay with that person as long as they live. Is this what we truly want for ourselves? Is this what we desire for our friends and loved ones? The best solution we can have to avoid this sad and uncomfortable situation is to think, think and rethink what we are about to say because one invested second of speech can damage an entire lifetime of self esteem and self worth.

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