by Lori Shevokas

Created on: June 30, 2009

As a survivor of rape, not just once, but several times in my life, I can say that it is not something for which you can prepare. There are as many different kinds of rape as there are different kinds of people. The first time I was raped, I was only seven years old. I was raped by a 40 year old man who was supposed to help look after me. He was my step-father. The next time I was raped, it was by my husband. I was quite ill, and had gone to bed, telling him that I was not feeling well, and asking him to leave me alone. I awoke to him pinning me down and forcing himself into me. I vomited. The third time I was raped, I was walking in a public park in the middle of the day. A man, whose face I never saw, dragged me down from behind, restrained me, and put a knife to my neck. And, finally, the last time I was raped was when I was in the military, and a higher ranking person forced his way into my room and quickly overpowered me. The last thing I saw before he left was the sight of him taking off a condom. How does someone prepare for that kind of calamity? If there was only one way to rape a person, then maybe there would be a manner in which to prevent it.

Since there is no set way to prevent a rape from occurring, then there is no way to hold the victim in any way responsible for the action done to him or her. Some say that living a certain lifestyle "invites" a rapist. Does that mean that people who drive nice cars, or collect expensive items in their homes are "inviting" burglars and car-jackers? Or, perhaps, those seeking entrepreneurship are "inviting" scammers. Maybe people who like to surf the Internet are "inviting" viruses, or people who like to shop on-line are "inviting" identity theft. I do not believe a rapist needs an invitation, anymore than does a burglar, a car jacker, a hacker, or a virus. A rapist is going to strike regardless. From experience, I can tell you that it doesn't matter what you wear.

The last issue I would like to discuss is the responsibility of reporting the rape. I can tell you why rapes do not get reported. The police always start tearing apart the credibility of the victim before deciding whether or not to pursue the perpetrator. this gives the perpetrator plenty of time to either disappear, or to assist in tearing down the credibility of the victim. It does not matter who the victim is, or what mistakes the victim made earlier in life. when a victim endures the public humiliation of coming forth and admitting that he or she was attacked, all the police need to investigate is the crime, and stop helping the criminal to further harm the victim. Just because a victim does not come forward, does not mean that the victim is being irresponsible. It means the victim realizes that the police will waste time investigating the victim rather than the crime.

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