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Testimonies: When fathers refuse to pay child support

by Rebecca Rehm

Created on: June 30, 2009   Last Updated: July 08, 2009

While I understand the need for the laws governing child support enforcement and even agree with most of them, I believe there are those that need to be changed because they create huge problems. For example; how much sense does it make to arrest someone for falling behind on their payments? Honestly, if someone has a job and is arrested they are more than likely going to lose their job which will make it impossible to pay up, and let's get real what are the odds of finding a job after having lost one due to arrest?

I believe most people want to pay their child support but fall behind due to various reasons sometimes through no fault of their own.

I don't know what the answer is but there has to be a better way.

Another issue that needs to be addressed is; there are some parents who use the child support for things they shouldn't and the child ends up doing without. There should be a way to ensure that the support is used to meet the needs of the child.

I have personal knowledge through my daughter about what happens when a non-custodial parent is unable to pay their child support. My daughter whom I will call T worked very long hours at a minimum wage job with no benefits bringing home ninety dollars a week on her pay checks and still ended up buying clothes for son because her ex-husband who I will call M wouldn't. My daughter lives with my husband and myself because there isn't enough left after child support is paid to even consider getting a place of her own, And now to make matters worse she has been laid off and is unable to pay her child support. In an attempt to see that my grandson's needs are met we provide daycare for free and have since 2006. Now don't get me wrong we have no problem doing this, he's our grandson and this way we can spend time with him and be active in his life we pick up clothes here and there for him, and pay for extra activities and yet his dad doesn't see this as enough and has filled out the paperwork for the courts to take action. T is three hundred dollars behind and looks for a job every day but has already gone to court. While in court I brought to the attention of the prosecutor that we had been helping out as much as possible and listed a few things for her. I have no idea what is going to happen the prosecutor said for T to plead not guilty and get a lawyer that way there would be an investigation. Now M has decided my grandson will no longer be staying here with us I assume this to be punishment for my having spoken to the prosecutor. I hope this works itself out for my grandson's sake he is seven years old and caught in the crossfire he feels that everything happening is his fault. He shouldn't be aware of these things but his dad believes he should and told him.

All too often these battles end up causing low self esteem, fear, and insecurities for the children who are the reason for the battle in the first place. In my opinion this screams that there is a very real need for change.

I have heard about persons being homeless and eating at the food kitchen even though they work so they can pay their child support payments.

In all of this the ones who ultimately suffer is the children, they are caught in the middle loving both of their parents and sometimes will be used to cause one or the other parent grief the children should never feel like any of the parents issues are their own.

If the non-custodial parent is living the good life then by all means prosecute, if needed arrest them but why arrest someone who can't make ends meet? Change is definitely needed

Learn more about this author, Rebecca Rehm.
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