by Bridget Webber

Created on: June 30, 2009   Last Updated: November 18, 2010

Keeping your self esteem is essential for your well being, as without it, you will be liable to let others treat you disrespectfully because you don't have a sense of positive self worth. You may also become depressed and unhappy. So how can you keep your self esteem intact on a day to day basis?

Planning ahead

When anxious and sad we're also vulnerable when it comes to the threat of losing self esteem. This is why it can help to plan ahead. Throughout your life make a point of keeping joyful photographs of yourself and your loved ones, showing you being happy together, to remind you that you're loved.

Keep a folder where you place every note scribbled to you that says something complementary, or which makes you feel good about yourself. Also keep certificates, achievement awards and any other material which will remind you that you're a valuable human being and a great person.

Then, if you go through a problematic time where your confidence begins to ebb, refer to your folder and take time going through the material within. Look at your photographs, and contact someone you care about who'll help give your self esteem a boost.

Behaviour

When human beings start to feel unhappy and find themselves either in a depressing rut, or going through a difficult period in their lives they often reach out for what they personally use as a crutch, to help them until times improve.

Some individuals rely on vast amounts of junk food to comfort them, others alcohol, drugs or promiscuity. The problem with all of these 'aids' to feeling better is that ultimately they make people feel worse and give them even more difficulties to have to overcome than they began with.

One thing the above crutches have in common is that they all also have a tendency to badly affect peoples self esteem, sometimes by messing up their body and brains functioning, and at other times by evoking feelings of shame and guilt.

An extremely important lesson to learn in life to help you to retain self esteem is to find a healthy crutch or aid to well being that comforts you when you are in need, so you don't fall into the trap of grasping at other unhealthy ways of getting by.

If bad times befall you rely on spiritual values, exercise or meditation if you find they help you. Teaching yourself that you can find comfort in healthy ways can make a huge difference to your life.

Attitude

There will always be people you'll encounter who'll try to bring you down. They may be secretly, or not so secretly, sad and lonely themselves. They may be jealous of you, and so try to make themselves feel better by working on making you feel worse.

The thing to remember, and to remind yourself when you come across them, is that they're not well. You may even end up feeling sorry for them if you put things into perspective and realise their motivation for taking out their own feelings of inadequacy on you. 

View them as though they are equal to you but different. See them as needing help and understand that their unkind behaviour is a symptom of their needs. In other words, don't let anyone dent your self esteem. Be responsible for your own confidence and don't allow anyone else to be in control of how you feel about yourself.

Learn more about this author, Bridget Webber.
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