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four times. Do not use the full force of your strength. Children should be spanked as a form of correction, not as punishment. It takes very little force for a child to realize he does not want to be spanked again.

For older children, the loss of privileges is a good technique to use as discipline. Make sure the punishment fits the crime. The loss of phone privileges for three months for a minor rule infraction will only cause resentment and fail to teach your child that rules have a good purpose. Be realistic. If you deny all social activities when you know there is an important family social event that is coming up, you may have to miss this event to stay home with your child. Be specific and deny your child the opportunity to participate in a social event that involves only her.

Time-out works well for children who have difficulty regaining control of their emotions or tempers. Sometimes, a child needs thirty minutes of solitude to appreciate why you have rules and the dangers of breaking the rules. Time-out in a room filled with fun things to do is counter-productive. Make sure the time-out area is an area you can easily watch your child until the time-out is over. Make the area free from all activity.

Whatever technique you use to discipline your children, be prepared to follow through. Empty threats, yelling, the use of profanity, or striking in anger are techniques that do not produce the desired behavior from your child. These techniques only reinforce bad behavior and can be considered child abuse in some cases. Be in agreement with each other as parents concerning which techniques you will use and stand united with each other, not allowing your child to play one parent against the other. Remember, no parent is perfect and all parents make mistakes. Some techniques do not work well for all children and techniques may change as your child grows.

Learn more about this author, Barbara Stanley.
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