by Jayne Clarkson

Created on: June 29, 2009   Last Updated: November 11, 2009

Enduring a break up can be traumatic. A broken heart can be absolutely devastating. W often blame ourselves for our predicament and feel if only we'd behaved differently, the object of our love would still love us and the relationship would have continued. In turn, it is easy for our self esteem to be detrimentally affected.

On the other hand, if we,ourselves are the partner who has become disillusioned with the relationship,we may feel an enormous sense of guilt at terminating our relationship and therefore feel a dip in self esteem.

So how do you survive a broken heart and also keep your self esteem intact?

Although it may seem a cliche, I think the first step is to be kind to yourself. A break-up is hardly ever entirely one person's responsibility, so to blame yourself completely is unfair and unrealistic. It also prevents you from learning the necessary lessons implicit within the situation.

It is a given , if you have been rejected , that you will feel hurt and angry. It is important to do what makes you feel good , whether it be eating a wonderful meal or watching a sad film. It is these small actions that can help boost your self esteem.Reminding yourself that you are a person of inherent value will help you to find the strength to move on.Being able to care for yourself in these small but important instances,helps to boost your self worth in every department.

If you are the person who has ended the relationship, you will still feel a sense of grief at the end of an important relationship.You may also feel guilty if you have outgrown the relationship and therefore feel a negative impact on your self esteem. There are many reasons why people end relationships and there is often difficult lessons to be learned as a consequence.

It is often the case that individuals have grown apart,and no blame can be aportioned to one party. I often think it helps to look very honestly inside yourself to assess your motivations. This can be uncomfortable and difficult feelings may result . Yet if you are able to embrace these difficult feelings and motivations, it can lead to greater insights and a more balanced relationship with yourself,which will in turn strengthen relationships with others.

Becoming single again can be a great time to develop your self confidence . When we are in the midst of a relationship , it is easy to loose ourselves in the likes and dislikes of our partner. So a period of time when we are single can improve our self esteem , if we see it as

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