by Ted Sherman

Created on: June 29, 2009

Maybe the best advice for getting over a bad break-up is in the lyrics of a 1930s song from a Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers movie: Nothing's impossible I have found, for when my chin is on the ground, I pick myself up, dust myself off and start all over again.

1. The first tip is to accept that the bad break-up is permanent, so you may put the disaster behind you as quickly and completely as possible. Get control of your situation, and make up your mind you'll really pick yourself up and start all over again: get busy and resume your day-to-day life, career, friendships, family, social life and other activities.

2. If it is a sudden permanent break-up after a long-term relationship or marriage, you must immediately seek legal help to protect yourself. You'll need to take important steps to prevent loss of your possessions, finances, residency, personal safety and other important rights.

3. If there are children involved, make every effort to see that all aspects of their lives will continue as normally as possible during and after the break-up. Legal support is absolutely essential when children are innocent victims in a destroyed family. You must assure that their financial needs, residency, education and parent visiting rights are legally established and understood by both parties.

4. If the bad break-up was caused by physical or emotional abuse against you, keep in contact with the police. Be sure there are written reports on file of any situations and incidents that may endanger you or your children. If necessary, have your attorney petition the court to issue a restraining order if the abuser continues to threaten you.

5. Choose to keep or discontinue associating with people who had been mutual friends, associates, in-laws or other relatives. After a couple breaks up, it can be awkward to attend family, business and social events where both are invited. Try to avoid such occasions.

6. Emotionally and in every other way, after a bad break-up, you should take Fred Astaire's advice to pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again. It's the time to seek new relationships, but take everything slowly and sensibly. If you feel yourself becoming involved again, step back and ask yourself if your feelings are real, or are you desperate to prove you're capable and worthy of a new love.

7. Best tip of all: Put the bad break-up behind you; get out there and back into circulation!

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