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You are in love and believing that you're loved back just as much. Life is seems to opening up for you with all sorts of possibilities. Wow, life is grand! Then Pow everything is over in the relationship and you're left feeling dazed, wounded and unbelieving that this has happened to you. What next, how do you go on, how can anything be that good again and how do you make the pain go away?

Breaking up is never easy; even if you're the one making the decision that the relationship must end. If we're talking about a bad break up, in my interpretation of this, it means we had invested a lot our self in the relationship and it has ended ugly. I'm going to focus on not the ugliness because that is a whole other article but on the ways I have found through many breakups of coping and moving on from a bad breakup.

The first tip I want to offer anyone going through this difficult time is to allow yourself time to grieve over the loss. You had dreams with this person and they are blown out of the water. A connection you had with a special person has been lost for one reason or another and that is a loss. Don't feel that you've got to get right back out there and replace that person with someone else. Take the time for a little self discovery and understanding. Your loss was real and you have the right to take some time to mourn your loss.

Secondly, don't become self indulgent and get lost in that period of loss and grieving. This time of grieving is to help you heal and learn what caused the collapse. This time of mourning should not be your new life but only a period of healing to make you stronger and more self reliant. Use the time wisely. Be willing to accept that if there was a "bad" breakup which means the person wasn't right for you and you were lucky to get out of the relationship before it got worse. You now have the opportunity to be a very happy single person or the chance to find someone truly meant just for you. Life goes on and you'll find that it's gong to be better because now you're a little wiser and a lot stronger.

Third, now that you have had your time to recoup, decide what kind of life you want and go for it. Don't go out looking for that special someone. You will find that if you focus on liking yourself and doing things that make you happy that life is going to take on a whole new meaning for you. Being a happy person without needing anyone will give you self confidence and zest for life that is going to attract people wherever you go. People like to be around happy, confident people and seek them out. Life is going to open up for you like a new rose bud blooming, if you take care of yourself and focus on self improvement and happiness. Focusing on "looking" for that right person will scare away anyone because it makes you look needy and weak. So, be happy being you. Until you truly like yourself you'll never be happy with anyone else.

Now if you followed my advice and you've gotten this far into my tips on moving on after a bad break up, you're probably asking yourself some questions. What was so bad about that break up? Looking back I'm lucky to have went through that breakup so I could move on with my life. What would have become of me if I hadn't had the chance to go through this period of mourning and self learning? I hope you're here and I hope you realize your value and have succeeded in moving on after that breakup.

Learn more about this author, Deborah Coshun.
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