by Hayley Campbell

Created on: June 28, 2009

For a long time, I thought I knew what love was. I even thought that I had been in love a few times.....Oh how wrong I was. My freshman year (2008-2009) brought a long a lot of new experiences. I joined the competitive drama team, I became more out-going, I finally started getting boyfriends-who I thought I was in love with-(Don't get me wrong, I did have love for them. I just wan't in love with them.) and I fell in love....with someone who doesn't even reciprocate. (Now, I use the present tense because this is all still up-to-date.) His name is Neil, he was in my drama class, and I fell for him while I was dating my then boyfriend Jacob. Naturally, I didn't say anything about it when I was with Jacob because, honestly, what kind of girlfriend would I have been? All of this made me feel really upset with myself because Jacob absolutely adored me. When Jacob and I first started going out, I felt the little tingly butterflies and such, but it was never anything extraordinary; I settled because I wanted to give him a chance at happiness. Some time during our relationship, my heart started to jump every time I looked at Neil. I started to blush slightly when he talked to me. When he hugged me, I never wanted him to let go.....and when he just barely touched me....well, let's just say that I never knew such a simple touch could do so much. And, I'm not really the type that thinks about getting married often because I never met anyone who I thought I would want to spend forever with. Even when I was dating Jacob, I knew it wouldn't last because I saw myself getting tired of him down the road. But, when I thought about Neil, well, he's the one guy that I could see myself marrying and having a life with. I tried so hard to keep these emotions from surfacing because of Jacob, but my efforts failed miserably. I got to a point where I didn't feel really anything for Jacob and one day, it just hit me that I didn't love him anymore. I broke up with him the Monday before Valentine's Day and told him it was because I just didn't feel that way for him anymore. (Needless to say, I left out the part about Neil.) I was then free to be infatuated with Neil. (Now, let's get things straight, I knew then and I know now for sure that he doesn't like me in the same way that I like him, but I don't care because, for some strange reason that evades me, I'm completely content with that. I mean, I still wish that he would love me as I do him, but honestly, it's not like I can make him

• 1
• 2
• 3
• Next Page >>