by Karen Witter

Created on: June 26, 2009

A good guideline to follow when administering a time out is one minute per each year the child is old. That means for an infraction that has time out as its consequence, a 2 year old would serve 2 minutes. It is a simple formula to remember and simple to implement. The specific amount of time also gives consistency to time out. Further, a minute a year does not put an excessive burden on a younger child or let an older child off too lightly. The specific minute per year rule will become the guide for discipline rather than anger or guilt.

Simple is important both for parents and children. Our world is an increasingly complex and busy place with hectic schedules for all. To have a set parameter, like a minute a year for time out, takes one more burden off the plates of everyone involved. Even a very young child knows how old he or she is and will be able to remember that he or she will have to serve that amount of minutes in time out.

Consistency in any form of discipline is essential if the discipline is to be effective. Time out will become a matter of frustration if the time to be served is all over the board. A minute a year offers a very specific boundary that children will remember, appreciate, and respect even if it doesn't seem so. A conversation can be had in which the parent explains the procedure to the child. Then there will be no surprises when the child has to serve a time out and no struggle trying to figure out just how long the time out should be. Every time the 4 year old gets a time out he or she will spend 4 minutes serving it.

Three minutes for a three year old is well within the ability of that child to endure. Although they will not enjoy it, they will be able to successfully achieve it. Not setting the bar too high when doling out discipline is vital. If the child feels there is no way for them to successfully complete the time out, they will rapidly lose interest in trying.

Having this principle will also prevent dealing out consequences that are too harsh because of disciplining in anger. Feeling guilty for discipline that is out of balance with the infraction will also be non existent. Even in the middle of the exasperation of dealing with a child who is once again pushing the limits, the minute per year rule is there to help out. In the end, it could be the key to turning time out from an exercise in futility to a highly effective form of discipline.

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