by Liyah M.

Created on: June 26, 2009

Now, imagine yourself out with somebody new (or simply new to date you) and think about how you can spark their interest, maybe simply get them talking.

One thing you shouldn't do is ask about their personal life too quickly. Keep conversation light, free and unpressurized. If he/she doesn't want to talk about the subject then maybe being silent for a while helps.

Something that is mainly important is to know their character, a lot or a little. This information gives you knowledge on what works on a date and what doesn't. For example, the girl you are seeing is bubbly, outspoken, beautiful, and has a great sense of humor. The things you should be able to do to lighten the mood or start conversation is stealing some of her food (if you two are eating), tell a joke, tell a funny story to her that you don't mind sharing, and possibly, getting her to talk about whatever she wants to. Let her be the leader for a while, let her know that this could slowly bud into a relationship. Don't rush into anything too quickly, however, and make sure you secure a mental line you know not to cross. It shows that you have discipline and respect for your other.

Try things like pretending to be her escort. Sometimes getting away from the real world to be in your own can send sparks. It always draws ones together when you can be your own thing, in your own world, with the person you want to be there with. But please note, coming to that level depends on the character of the individual you are seeing. Watch out for signs!

Sometimes words don't need to be said. Figure out if he/she is a curious person. If so, this may work for you:

The air is a bit tense, every attempt to speak comes out as a squeak, all wrong or something along those lines. What do you do? Focus on a inane object for about ten seconds, let a smile break out and then a laugh. They're going to ask what you find funny. Do you tell them? No, you simply point in different directions to make them think they're looking for something, anything humorous.Soon enough they'll get fed up and demand you tell them what you're laughing at (mind you, they want to have a conversation as well, so they are going to talk about the subject until it merges into something else). You look them in the face and tell them they should have seen the look on their face, laugh and confess to what you're really trying to do. From there, it should be easy flow, and always try to find a chance to add laughter where it's needed.

In some situations, you need to simply take initiative and speak on things randomly. Ask her her opinion on which ever things. It makes her (or him) feel a sense of belonging, and respect to know that someone else wants to listen. Only do this if you're serious; playing with someone's emotions isn't the brightest path to take, whether someone is doing it to you or you are doing it to someone else.

There are many ways to start a conversation whether it is by bringing up past relationships, family, friends, interests, or hobbies. All of these ways can't necessarily be mapped and worded. Sometimes you start the conversation on accident, or maybe you stage it, but however you do it, remember your boundaries, priorities, your goals and how serious you do or do not intend to be.

Take in stride your partner's effort and see how easy you can make it. Let the whole thing be simple elegance and fun. Or at least make it as memorable as possible, that way you have a chance to jump at opportunity when it rises.

Of course the sea is full and plentiful with many types of fish, go for a swim.

Learn more about this author, Liyah M..
Click here to send this author comments or questions.