by Carole Ligi

Created on: June 26, 2009   Last Updated: July 07, 2009

Ask a parent if each of their children has the same identical personality. The response will be, of course not, they are all unique individuals. The same is true for parenting styles. One size and one method does not fit all. There is not the one and only one way to raise children. The only wrong way is when children are physically and emotionally abused or neglected.

Parents have different styles and methods of raising their children often based on their own background and personal past experiences. Some parents are more hands on and some are more controlling while other parents are more laid back. As long as the children are thriving and healthy then there is not a wrong way to raise children.

There was a story of one family where a husband and wife had the first grandchild. These parents' methods included total control which was their nature. The baby was happy and well taken care of and control was the parents' style. The baby's diaper was changed every hour on the hour whether it was wet or dirty. The parents changed the diaper even when the diaper was dry. They also only used the most expensive disposable diapers available on the market. Another method they had was putting on soft lights and putting on soft music to lull the baby to sleep each night while sitting by the baby's crib.

Did this harm the baby? Of course not. The baby was never a good sleeper, but that may have been the baby's personality in the first place.

When the next sibling had a baby there was much criticism from the family about this couple's parenting style. This couple was more laid back. But, according to the family, nothing the couple did was right. The baby's diaper was checked and changed often, but only when needed. And the most expensive diapers were not used. The father-in-law even accused the mother of trying to kill her baby because she would not stay up twenty four hours a day to make sure that the baby slept on its side and not on its back like the first mother had done with the help of around the clock nannies. A little extreme? Definitely. The first family always had nannies come in to help the mother while the second family wanted to raise their children by their selves without outside help.

Today, both children are thriving and doing very well and are in their teens. Different parenting styles, yes. Was either one wrong, no.

Some parents are more relaxed about chores and school work while others are more hands on and are more rigid in their schedule of raising their children. What parent has not been at a play ground with their children and thought that they would never treat their own children that way be it too strict or too lenient. Styles are different and parents need to be more accepting that it is okay to be different in the ways they raise their children. Remember the old line about the reason for birthday parties and that is to remember that there are children out there worse than your own. If a child grows into an adult that is productive and caring than the parents can know that no matter what their style, they are successful.

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