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Is it okay to exclude people from a family reunion?

by Barbara A. Black

Created on: June 26, 2009

A family reunion is for FAMILY, right? So what would be bad enough to cause a family member to be excluded from the family reunion? True, I have sometimes wished that one or another of my family would stay away, for my own reasons or comfort, but that is still no reason to say "You can't come to the reunion"!

This was brought out in a way that brought the entire question home to me, personally, a few years ago. One of the members came to the reunion with only one purpose in mind, and that was to tell another member of the family that she and her friend shouldn't be there. It really hurt the person who was spoken to, but it ended up happily. After telling them they shouldn't have come, the person said goodbyes to everyone, made excuses for not staying, and left. Once word got around as to what had been said, several members of the family came to the two and told them not to worry, and that they should stay and enjoy themselves. They did, and were glad they did.

As a matter of fact, we have had more trouble between siblings in our family reunions than we have had with other family members. And we have three branches of the family, from my father's siblings, who are invited to our family reunions. However, we have lost many of the family members because of arguments in my birth family that escalated into fist fights, at the reunion, in years past. Hopefully, we won't have any more of THOSE, but with family, and some with quick tempers, it is always a possibility.

Also, we have had more visitors who are NOT family in the last few years, than many of the earlier years all put together. Most of the younger group bring friends on a regular basis to the reunion, and some bring more than one per person. And many of them have come back more than once, because they enjoy the reunion so much.

And this year, at our yearly reunion, we had family members who had decided, years ago, not to come any more. They came and were welcomed with open arms-and seemed to enjoy themselves. We look for them to be back next year and for many years to come. Also, we had one group who finally made it to the reunion just before the business meeting broke up on Sunday afternoon. They had spent about two hours trying to find us, because the sign on the road leading in had not been put out this year. That sign will definitely be out next year, and every year from now on! We want our people to be able to find us. (That group stayed for about two hours, visiting, and catching up, before they had to leave. We thoroughly enjoyed visiting with them while they were there!)

No, it is NOT okay to exclude people (especially FAMILY MEMBERS) from a family reunion. Just think how YOU would feel if YOU were the one excluded. That, in itself, should give you the correct answer to the question!

Learn more about this author, Barbara A. Black.
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