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Low self-esteem is one of the greatest killers of relationships that exists. It is silent, but it is deadly. It will creep in and systematically undermine the foundations of a relationship, especially those that are based in romantic partnership. When a person suffers with low self-esteem, they essentially feel unworthy of happiness and emotional health so they portray that in the way that they relate to others. They are likely to choose partners based on this feeling, which also contributes to the failures in their relationships.

There are a variety of ways that low self-esteem can damage your relationships, depending on the severity of the problem and if you are in a relationship with a partner who also has this issue. The amount of damage will also depend on whether you are aware of the problem and are actively trying to get better, through counseling or some form of self-help. Awareness is the first step in healing and preventing future damage, or even the end of a relationship that you may really want to keep.

One of the biggest issues that the person with low self-esteem will encounter is that he or she will often end up with a partner that will not treat them right. This will further weaken their sense of value as they are talked down to, controlled, abused, etc. Abusers have a way of zeroing in on those with low self-esteem because they inherently know that these are the partners who will permit them to mistreat them. Those who value themselves and have a healthy self-image will not typically put up with this type of treatment from a partner.

If a person with low self-esteem does end up with an emotionally healthy person who wants to share a healthy relationship with them, they may fiind themselves in an entirely different predicament. Because they don't feel worthy of being treated well, they may be quite suspicious of their partner's motivations.

They tend to be extremely jealous even if there is no logical reason for them to be. This is rooted in the fact that they can't see themselves as anyone of worth, so they assume that their partner won't ,either. They may question their partner regularly, or even throw accusations that aren't true at them. This becomes a source of contention in the relationship and most people will eventually leave rather than feel like they aren't trusted.

Low self-esteem is never a benefit for a relationship and it is always a detriment. Those who deal with it in themselves are hesitant to trust others, can't see their own worth, and attract partners who wish to control and mistreat. If you are one of the many suffering from low self-esteem, get help! You really are worth it, whether you believe it or not, and there is a better way to live and relate to others. You can find happiness in a healthy relationship, but not until you find the healthy side of yourself.

Learn more about this author, Victoria Tiegert.
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