by Melvin Palmer

Created on: June 26, 2009

The Greeks believed there were two kinds of people on earth. One kind of human was half a person, walking the earth looking for their other half. They would try others on to see if they fit. It was a long and difficult process. The other person walking the earth was whole. They met and enjoyed the pleasure of others company.

Finding that person in your life, who adds to your, gives you the support you need and likes being with you can be difficult. You have dated and been in several relationships. So whatever you are doing isn't working. Now is the time to do something different. There are three easy steps to increase the chance of you finding someone who will commit to a relationship. All you need to do is be patient, self-loving and seek advice.

Patience starts by taking a break from dating. This will give you an opportunity to discover how it is to be with you. Are you comfortable by yourself? Do you go out and have fun with yourself? Whether it is going to a movie, traveling or sitting in your room alone, being comfortable with you is important. During this first step it is fine to go out with friends. If you don't have friends call someone up and ask them if they are interested in developing a friendship. You may be surprised at the positive responses.

Help can come in many forms. A therapist, mentors, and books are all valuable resources. My father was an alcoholic. I read books on co-dependency and addiction. My mother is Italian so I read books about self esteem! I developed practices that made me feel good about me. Change the negative self talk to positive. Affirm your beautiful and loving self by looking in the mirror and saying things like, ' I am a beautiful and loving person.' The point here is that how you feel about yourself helps determine the people you choose to be with. In addition to books you have mentors. Usually mentors are older. They have been through similar situations. You can benefit by listening to their stories and advise.

After a few months begin dating again. Consider joining an intelligent Internet service that matches your values and characteristics with other people. I met a lot of people online. I was matched with hundreds of women. I met one who I now have a committed relationship with. If the Internet isn't for you simply know what your values are and take time to see if your date is close. Some of these areas are: religion, ambition, recreation, political beliefs, money, children and core values.

There is one big rule to follow when you start dating, no sex! Sex is permitted after dating someone exclusively for three months. This usually eliminates the people who want to use you. It also gives you time to see if this is the type of person you want to take the next step with.

Ending a pattern of choosing wrong partners takes some work. With patience, self-love and help you can develop the ability to see others how they really are. Only then will you make the right choice.

Learn more about this author, Melvin Palmer.
Click here to send this author comments or questions.